Let's See... Where Was I?

 Oh yeah... I was preparing to leave Missouri...

It's now been something like two weeks... and I'm 1200 miles or so away from where I was... In fact, I'm back at my winter camp quarters in Cochise county.

I left Missouri bound west for Colorado... stopped in a place called Kiowa for a few minutes along the way to put those side compartments I built up to use...

Yeah... you're right... that's not motorcycle fuel...

Been flip floppin' four times a day for weeks... the last lil' bit in Missouri something clicked and the decision got made.

I took Cora back. CJ had got sold much earlier, and for whatever reason she didn't...

Bottom line... I started back to find that trail again and on that trail I will finish.

So, from Kiowa I kept moving west and started climbing back into my beloved mountains... to bust the truck straight away climbing out of Denver... sort of.

I waxed another fuel filter on the climb... Barely made it over the passes... but still managed to limp into Grand Junction once I got down off the passes. A fresh fuel filter the next morning and I was good again and ready to pick up...

Cora...

*Cora came home with me to Cochise*

 I loaded her in the Lakota just west of Grand Junction on a Tuesday morning and lit out for Flagstaff Arizona... where I had additional plans.

We stopped in Flagstaff for a couple nights on the way down to pick up most of the hardware to do a Solar Power install... I'm weary of the grinding of a generator and the hassles of dealing with the buggers...

Then, Thanksgiving day we rolled the six hours from Flag to my winter camp below Turkey Creek down here in Cochise County.

... and set to work!

I wasn't even sure if the thieving nature of a lot of the human race would have left me anything at all since I pulled out last March... but luck was with me. The round pen I needed was still standing and even its Gate remained hangin' on the posts!

I've been scrambling too many miles just about since we got here. Lined up a good bigger cistern and had to go get it. Was planning on a trailer to haul it with but cogitation set me a different way. Assuming I take off on a summer circle, a water trailer is one more piece of something I've got to deal with to prevent it from growing legs...

The cost of delivery of the lil' bit of water we use actually makes better sense than all the expense and hassle of another trailer... so... that's done and I've water for nearly a month sitting in the tank outside.

Then as I was stumbling around doin' all that... I crossed paths with some furniture... to do a remodel that's been percolating in my head for some little while...

*The Couch - Before*

I decided that "writing shed" in the back is just too much awkward and inconvenience... soooooo... on the weekend after Thanksgiving I did a whiz bang change up of the interior of my Lakota LQ Horse trailer.

*Cowboy Writing Desk and Chair - After*

If thy couch offends thee... Pluck it OUT!

... and replace it with a slick used writing desk and a sweet new chair that is WAY more comfortable than the old hide-a-bed couch!

and when I'm not sitting in the chair reading at night... it spins around to sit at the desk working...

Plus... Arlo's bed swaps with the chair...

*Arlo seems to prefer his bed under the desk*

With this setup, I can get up in the oh damn it's early 3 in the a.m. when sleep refuses to co-operate and sit at the desk with a hot chocolate and work...

... while it was just too cold last winter with the desk out back in the horse compartment...

So with that all done, this week I'm working on the inventing I have to do to wiggle a 270 watt Kyocera solar panel setup into the rig.

I'm having to fabricate a protective box for the controller and small breaker panel up under the gooseneck... since there's no compartments on this rig like a "normal" person's rig.

Cora... well... she was at a trainer in July but she's not been rode since mid September... too long for a green colt and a buster whose confidence s bruised. That busted shoulder of mine still has a ways to go to be 'good'...

So, I'm searching around for a good rider here to put a half dozen maybe ten rides on her to get her warmed up and moving again for me. Then I can swing a leg with much stronger confidence that I won't be a non bouncing projectile.

... soooo... I think that's about all that's been happening... juggling so many irons I'm not truly sure at any partic'lar moment where I'm at or what I'm doin...

Still have to rework that heater duct that ran under the couch... complete the install of the solar... and get that rider locked down ASAP to get Miss Cora under saddle strong. (eating a little pride there will go a long ways these days...)

I'll try to keep things a little more up to date... but between the hustlin' and Microsoft/Verizon stuffing my data plan with never ending HUGE updates every time I turn on the Hotspot... They have me spooked a lil' bit... ate 4 gig in fifteen minutes last week while I was just checking my accounts and email! arrrrrrggggghhhhh!

a 16 gig plan evaporates pretty dang fast at that rate! Crooked as politicians!

*The super moon just before I left Missouri*

Time now for me to move the chair to the sittin' an' thinkn' spot and kick back for a bit before I turn in...

Till next time
Brian

The Melancholy of Another Leaving

Cora and CJ were loaded and hauled away yesterday...

*** Cora and CJ... loaded and leaving :( ***

I got all loaded and hitched up this afternoon... and I'll roll away with the coming dawn.

***an empty corral is a lonesome thing***

With my round pen standng melancholy and empty I need to be gone from here.

Maybe I'll come back in the winter... we shall see.

No plans really past the next few weeks.

***The rig is loaded and hitched***

 Felt very off balance and strange last night. I saw the time and jumped up and was outside... heading over to feed before it registered that I didn't have that any more...

Just a few short weeks ago it was all so different... Just two days before I busted my shoulder up... The light after the latest storm was so bright and hopeful on the Chiricahuas... The horses were coming along so good... I was going to climb on Cora in the next couple of days... then WHAM!

***Just a month ago***

Here it is a month past that now... and past the transmission blow up... My Horses are gone and I'm hitched up again and rolling off into whatever comes...

Last nights sunset was so soft and quiet... the tears were running... I need to be away from here right now but I'll miss it... and all the hopes I had for this place.

I'm going up to a camp I use on the Tonto, and cool out a few days... then roll on way far north to Cheyenne. A bad place to be in February. There's a weather window I may just slide through... The VA is pulling me in for another Thing...

Last summer when I let them run their test... I knew... I KNEW it was a bad idea. It's messing with things that are better left alone. If it ain't broke don't fix it...  It's like I jumped out onto a slippery slope. Now I can't seem to get rid of doctors and mechanics... meh...

 I don't hear no fat lady singin'... so I guess it ain't over.

- Brian

Hoof Beats and Disconnected Mental Meanderings

The life of a Cowboy is often a lonesome thing and being plain honest... it's purty much self inflicted. His sense of honor and just what he can tolerate, well, it's pretty impossible for him to negotiate such things. He's not perfect but he is what he is and he just ain't about to change that for anybody.

He figures if you want him to change who he is you don't care 'bout him anyway so... Adios!

Even amongst other folks he's got a way of holding himself apart and alone... or those other folks hold him away... because his way of seeing the world is so foreign to there own it makes them nervous. They just can't accept his unyielding ways and unwillingness to compromise.

He sees compromise as a phony deal with the devil where a lie is used as collateral to wheedle him out of what's right... by some slick talkin' townie.

Cowboys aren't what you might think of as "gentle" souls. They're more closely related to warriors than preachers. A lot of that comes from the rough and tumble world they grew up in. Fighting 1800# bulls or angry horned hereford mommas when all you're tryin' to do is doctor her baby isn't how you incubate sensitivity in a man.

But, they are still a bit of a paradox. That buster you think is a hard nosed prick will stun you with how gentle and tender he is with a calf or a colt; He'll risk hell and frostbite to save 'em and protect em...

Then he'll turn right around and grab the man by the collar who stepped the tiniest bit out of line when it comes to honor or respect... and whup on his hide till his own momma can't recognize him...

The only honesty they see comes from a cow or a horse... their experience with humanity is not something that's nurtured a lot of trust in their minds. 

They say cowboys are a dyin' breed. Might be so... but they been dyin' for a long damn time. My whole life and beyond... but as long as there's one sorry old cow... or one good colt to test his abilities... cowboys will survive. They'll be out there cussin' the wind and the dust. gripin' and grousin'... and softly caressing a fresh colt and trying to coax it to stand up and suck ...

Now understand this... that's not the fellas you see on espn... those are sure enough athletes... and they might wear big hats, and silver buckles...  but that fancy stitchin' on their back pockets... kinda gives 'em away.

A few of those boys might could cowboy...they're sure enough tough... but most are only good for eight seconds. They just don't hold up when the days with out a day off run into the triple digits... the dollars in the bank are... well... dollars in the bank???  and the only reward is to see that calf grow fat on summer grass.

You get the picture.

Most cowboys aren't so wordy as... ahem... some others. So getting to know them and how they see the world around 'em is sometimes a difficult thing to achieve. And even if you do... the onliest one you've learnt is THAT one... cuz each and ever' one of 'em, though they carry the same heritage... they're all so individual that you just can't catch 'em up in a single loop.

Some have even gone and hidden amongst the townies for a while. They put on shirts with lil' alligators on the chest... and I saw a few in plaid shorts one time... but... deep inside... in those places they hold apart and alone... They are cowboy and they curse the day they let themselves be talked away from the only life that ever soothed their souls.

It's been said before by others and said by me, but it still is the gospel truth... there's nothing finer than riding a fine horse into new country.

The only thing that soothes that battered soul of a cowboy barely hangin' on... is the spirit that lives within' horsehide.

*Range cows in the dust at sunset*

*My Ponies with sunset over the Dragoons*

*The look that fills a Cowboy's Soul*

The purest spirit can be seen... in the Eyes of a Horse...

When your heart is sore and you think it'll break... you're chokin' on life... if you walk out to your pens and just quietly gaze into the eyes of your horses... the pain starts to fade. You wrap your arms around a neck and the tears wash the dust away.

- Brian

From Sunrise to Sunset... Fill the Day

Monte Walsh on the stereo, coffee in the cup... Mr. Heater is warming me...and another flashy sunrise is cracking over the Chiricahuas...

Chiricahua Sunrise

Now that Mr. Heater. Has its pluses and its hassles. The lil thing can be moved to where ever you want heat so that's a plus. The only real hassle is fueling it. Let's face it, $5.67 for a pair of lil' bottles that only last maybe five hours each on low gets pricey quick.

There is a solution for that. You get the lil adapter gizmo to refill the throw-away bottles. That way you're burning the $1.60 propane from the Co-op,

 Only problem there is, and this is the only real hassle...

Refilling actually only partially refills those bottles. They just won't get as much gas as they had when store bought.

So they're only good for maybe two hours. But that's two hours of a lot cheaper gas... I just need to buy some more of the pricey ones, so I have more "refilled".

Two hours in the evening on one bottle and two in the morning on the other just ain't sufficient.


Was walking back to the Lakota after feeding last night. Looked up into the fading pale blue eastern sky... it was just before sunset...There it was hanging over the Chiricahuas.

You know, the camera only wanted to capture a bright white flash... Buuuuut... if you bump those settings to underexpose it a ways... it kills all that glare and you can capture a pretty cool image...  you'd think it was the dark of night with that exposure dropped. Actually the sky was a very soft, almost purple by that time... It lets you catch the detail pretty fine though.

Them ponies are doing me pretty good. Three days now I finally got to work them like I'd planned to be doing back in the early part of November. The tribulations of equipment, horses and finances shot that plan to ribbons. It took till just those few days ago to complete the pen I required to work these horses proper.

Now, with that pen up and the sun mostly smilin' on me... we've had three solid workouts the past three days and three days of solid, seeable gains.

 That feeling, I wish I could shape it into words. When loneliness is weighing heavy on a solo cowboy... and the day seems dark and grey...

It lifts his spirit in ways he can't speak... when his horses come straight to the fence to whicker a hello ever' time he comes around.

They say that Horses don't have, can't have the same emotions as the two legged varmints that plague the earth.

And I hope that's true. This old chunk of rock hasn't benefited that I can see from that infection...

Now, how-some-ever... There is nothing more beautiful and pure... than the spirit of a horse.

Nothing more glorious than a herd of horses racing across the high desert.

Whatever those emotions are that Cora and CJ are giving me, I'll take 'em... and count myself fortunate to have had the lil' bit of wisdom left that it took to bring them back into my world.

I've come close to getting started on some leather books. Working out some "ideas" on things I've never done before. I'm needful of not only bringing the Horses "Home" but... some other things that got left back as well. The horses re-awakened that want too.

It's not about making money... though that is sure needed... It's about... what Gus was talkin' about when he told Call; "You just don't get it! It ain't dyin' I'm talkin' about__It's LIVIN'!"

With whatever time is left... I need to be doing those things that FIRST, grant an inner satisfaction...

Think of the scene in Lonesome Dove where Gus was sitting with a jug, alone on the porch; He looked around and saw Call working with the Hell Bitch. Some of the boys were digging a well... another shoeing a horse. The sun was setting. Gus looked around at it all and with a smile on his face nodded to himself... A bit of that inner satisfaction. He felt like he was where he belonged and it was good.

...and only then, after your soul has been fed, when that inner hunger is satisfied... think about how or if that "thing" you work at can maybe help pay the Mordida that a modern cancerous soh-sigh-uh-tee demands for permission to live.

 ... The changing light of a sunset...

 The sunsets around here... there's a real danger of the repetition of such things becoming "Oh... just another sunset..." I have to deliberately remember Gus's words all the time... "you have to learn to take pleasure in All the little things..."

Like that last one...

Playing with some things... makes it look like a chalk drawing don't it? :)

Find the little things to fill a day with creativity... When you've fed that need...THEN think about making bread...

- Brian

Just Me, My Horses and a Bat Shit Crazy Dog...

I've no sliver of an idea what's gonna happen come the spring or what the hell I'm a gonna be doing, so I just keep working here... I just keep on working like spring is some far off time that will never come.

For now... these are my reasons for being...

*Cody Jack and Cora*

When every time you step outside they call to you... when they watch every time you are moving around... when they follow you around inside a pen... it touches a rider's soul. Those who know not the soul of a horse can't have any idea what I'm talking about... But those that do live with the spirit of a horse touching their own understand that "Thing" that cannot be put into words.

Lately the work has been going such that I'm sore and weary at the end of day...

*Finished Round Pen and relocated the corrals/pens*

The round pen got finished up a few days ago... at least to where it's functional. The ponies were greatly pleased to be able to move around some. They'd been cooped up for too long in their constricted pens...

The pens got moved as soon as the round pen got done. With the ponies being able to move around so much more with the big pen available I figured them to get along better. When I moved their pens I hooked them back together which allowed a bigger pen for Cora... I'd separated the pens so they wouldn't fight through the panels.

I also managed to apply some tweak to the panel CJ had busted up a few weeks back. Got it to where I could actually use it again, which stretches his pen back out a bit... so they've got bigger night pens and with the Round Pen in action they've got work to do each day which TOTALLY changes the atmosphere between my ears! __ and theirs.

The old saying that; There's Nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse is absolute Truth!

That carries over into a lot of other places... You get a lot more done when your vision isn't so dark...

One thing was, that NW corner of the patio I'm currently still working at was discovered to be a mite low... So, I added another course of stones wove in together... The fill to level that up went in today.

Then... the local range cows tore down my hay pen a couple of weeks back. Forced me to load the hay back into the trailer in the dark of night. I was NOT a pleasant cowboy... and it disrupted my "working space" in the back of the trailer... due to the fact that there was more hay so No Room for my work tables.

So... on a sliver thin budget I managed to squeeze out a few wood posts to set deeper and stiffer. Hopefully it'll make a pen good enough to hold those dang cows out... put it over by the new pens location by the round pen as well.

*New 'temporary' hay pen started*

With the hay able to be took out of the trailer again... I got to work at sunset tonight re-establishing my work space in the back of my Lakota LQ...

This time, I did things a lil' different... using the Braiding stand as my writing desk, leaves the bigger table open to allow me to do some leather work and maybe turn out a leather book/journal/album or two...

*Mr. Heater__It Works!*

Sitting there just now in the dark of morning with that lil' heater roastin' me.

Picked up my second try with a Mr. Heater just the other day. The first try ended in a mite of excitement when it kinda literally blew up. Flame was goin' ever'where.

Fairly exciting when it's parked three feet from you!

So now, with this heater I don't hardly run the main furnace at all. I blanket up at night and leave it turned almost off. The batteries in this rig aren't up to the task. They die before the night is done if I leave it turned up.

Come the morning I fire up Mr. Heater... and only start the generator to crank up my Mr. Coffee...

A Bigger Battery bank and a solar system are on the list... but... that's gonna be a bit.

Just had a thought... Why is it always Mr.? How come we can't warm up with a HOT LADY heater? or take a sip from a Sizzling Suzie coffee maker? How come it's always got to be this damned polite MR baloney?

Well, for now, this lil' Mr. Heater has cut my generator run time by 75%. Made no sense to burn propane AND gasoline to keep warm.

A routine around here in the morning is to wander out into the desert with my Mexican Dump truck... and gather rock for the two main projects on my radar.

Those two being that patio that is creeping along, and, some sort of a combination leather studio/writing shed...

I feel like that pile of stone should be a lot bigger. The way my legs were quiverin' pushin' that dumper across the desert filled up with rock the half dozen times it took for that pile...

... it SHOULD be bigger!

... If I can manage it... I've got and idea for maybe a small... as in really small__size of my current living quarters small__ stone cabin. Maybe even a small bathhouse?

Lots of ideas... the problem is... There is Always a problem hangin' somewhere around me; It cranks on me, it really really does, that these damned rats I've been battling can dig their homes out where ever they please. The Hawks flyin' around can build their nests where ever they choose and lord help you if you molest THEM!

The coyotes and cougars bunk where they want... and hunt when they want. The javelina come and go. The quail, the deer... ALL of them without requiring the permission of any others of their kind.

Only MAN requires those around him to PAY for permission to breathe and be alive on this earth.

ONLY MAN requires another man to seek permission to build himself a shelter.

ONLY MAN believes he owns and controls the earth. ONLY MAN.

All the rest just go on about the business of life...

You know what? That's me... I'm just one of those critters.

I don't seek the permissions of human soh-sigh-uh-tee... Humanity has proven that it doesn't deserve the respect I give a rat... I go about my life seeking only a couple of things Gus said;

"There's nuthin' better than riding a fine horse into new country." 

and

"My God you just don't get it!__ It ain't dyin' I'm talkin' about... It's LIVIN!"

Just me, my horses and a bat shit crazy dog... Free on the Earth.

- Brian

Same Old Same Old...

Hard to finish a project that requires bought materials... when you open your wallet an' the onliest thing that falls out is dust...

Only two things you can do 'bout then...

One is shave expenses... stay close to home and burn less fuel. The other is... eat less.

... at 'bout 30 cents a cup, you can Crocodile Dundee it! Yup. "You can live on it... but it tastes like shit!"

The other is just keep huntin' up and haulin' rock from the desert round about. 'course, once you find it you still have to set it.

Turns out, though there's plenty of stone around, most of it is more rounded and lumpy. The flat sort of a suitable thickness for what I'm trying to do with it makes it a lil bit more of a search.

So it starts goin' a lil' bit slow as you clean out that what's closer to home.

I started mortaring in the stones I've placed.

I'm doin' the lazy man's mortar method. Just dust in dry mortar mix 'tween the stones and then mist it all a few times and let it set up.

I'm not trying to build the Taj Mahal... just set a place that cuts the dust some.

It's a lil bit of a curiosity. Those stones aren't really as far apart as they might seem in places.

The stones ain't got square edges. As I fill the gaps with mortar it widens out a lil' bit where the stones curve away.

All's good. Works for me.

Worked on another project I picked up a bit ago as well.

The headlights on the truck have been slowly fading. Part of the issue I think, is the bulbs themselves. The other was the lenses. I still have to replace the bulbs but I tried something I saw a test video on and damn if it didn't work out pretty sharp.

Pretty easy to see how fuzzy and hazy the lenses have gotten in the last 240,000 miles... These pics are after I washed 'em.

But do you think Like I do?




When you hear a salesman make his big claims your first thought is..."What a scam"?

When you hear him say "Our whizbang kit will restore your "Insert product name here" To Just like new condition!"

The thought in your mind is; "Yeahhhh... riiiiight."

Welllllll...

I used the 3M Headlight Restoration kit... the manual variety.

What can I say? From Hazy and cloudy lenses to crystal clear, and a whole lot cheaper at like $15 than replacing the clouded lenses!

I spent most of an hour... maybe... if you include all the dawdlin' and muckin' around. Three step process you can do pretty darn quick.

'course... now I have to clean off the drippin's from wet sanding...

The latest views from here on the high desert...

*The Dragoons - North End*

*That lil' bump on the left is called Mexican Hat*

* A neighbor... several hundred yards off to the west*

*Dos Cabezas Mtns*

Just goin' day by day... slow and cold sometimes. This high desert has been gettin' pretty cool lately at night. Supposed to be down to 19 or maybe 17 tonight and the next couple...ugh... my puny batteries aren't up to that task... and my gennie don't like firin' up when the cold dawns are that cool...

... might could be I'll be warmin' under a blanket with a cup of propane made coffee in the very near future... waiting for daylight.

- Brian