Friday, February 5, 2016

Cowboy Choreographing...

When you're Camped out on the desert some things can be a bit of a dance to get accomplished. Never thought of my self as a dance instructor... but... that's kinda what this is. A half dozen moving parts that seem to want to go fourteen different directions.

Sort of like teaching an epileptic Octopus to dance.

The Truck needs to go to a shop in Wilcox to get the transmission swap done. The Horses need water. A rental car is reserved in Tucson... and the remanufactured tranny is up near Phoenix.

Me? I'm 35 miles or there-a-bouts outside of Wilcox...

It's like a giant jigsaw puzzle with pieces made of balsa wood that you have to shuffle around and hold in place while a gale force wind exposes the faults in your planning.

With a suggestion or two from some others I managed to find the car in Tucson. So... late Sunday I'll haul water and get all my troughs and jugs filled.

Then, Monday morning just after sunrise I'll drop the truck at the Wilcox shop to get things started. I've got a ride arranged that'll  gather me up for a ride to Tucson to pick up the rental car.

As soon as the busted transmission is pulled and the Buckeye shop calls me that the new machinery is ready I'll go back for the broke one in Wilcox. That gets hauled with me when I pick up its replacement... That saves the shipping back and forth (which fitting into my tight time frame was unavailable anyway) ... and also the $600 core charge the remanufacturer charges until they receive the core.

Then, hoping they get it all back together quickly, before the end of the week!... I'll roll by the shop and pay 'em for the work... then roll the rental car back to Tucson where they'll carry me to the bus station so I can ride the old fashioned way back to Wilcox to get my repaired truck.

Yeah, unlimited mileage rental cars and Greyhound busses can be blessings in disguise.

Another few days after that and the colts move along if that plan holds... and then I'll leave here for quite some time.

Honestly the thought of getting as far east/north as Missouri for what's left of the winter has little appeal... so it's likely I'll drag my feet some. There's a few soft camps here in Arizona where I could lay up in a decent situation with water and such... maybe get my head into doing some decent work on another book...

Have to get to doin' a good bit of work to repay the piper for this latest gypsy dance.

... At the least I can start cooling out from the trials of  whatever it is that's been whuppin' on me the past few months.

Duckin' an' Runnin'
- Brian

Thursday, February 4, 2016

I've Heard It All Before...

I've heard all the cliches and seen all the memes... keep smiling, stay positive... think positive thoughts, maintain a proper attitude, keep you chin up, it's going to get better, look on the bright side... yadda yadda yadda...

Yeah... I won't run down the litany of the past__I don't know how many years. I can only tell you this; This old buster is used up, wore out, drained dry.

Layin' out here in the desert with a bum arm, thought I'd worked around the latest slap down one more time. The wing is healing if slowly. Cancelled the MRI due to research and the feeling it's healing well enough surgery can't be justified so cut out the expensive procedure. My research shows conservative treatment has outcomes pretty much equal to surgical anyway so I'm not going through that ordeal for questionable gain.

So... all's good and and moving along... right?

Not so fast. Got in the truck two afternoons ago and quickly found out__one__more__time__

It's a bad idea to start hanging an optimistic pretend smile on your face thinking it will "catch on"... It can always get worse.

WHAM! I was right. It just got worse.

December 2013 blew the transmission. Lost 5th gear. $2500 later it had a new transmission and clutch as well. So... having been built with parts that were redesigned to eliminate the "issue" and that "Have never failed yet"...  So that's one part we don't have to fret on! it's all good right?

Nope. Fifth gear blew out__Again.

This time of course I've no bike for transport while the truck is down... on top of nada left in the bank after multiple equipment failures, huge vet bills... yadda yadda yadda... So... working out the choreography to do a repair on borrowed money from a hundred miles out into far country... Maybe by this time next week THIS will be a bad memory... assuming that choreography is worked out...

A semi-plan is also working that should see the horses leave around the middle of the month... soon as they're gone I'll hitch up a hopefully successfully repaired old truck, and drift.

My daughter has a small place in/near the Ozarks that she's prodding me to come visit while I mend.

This chapter of my journey has caved in on me. With no useful alternatives in mind I'm thinking I just may do that into the early summer at least... see if things won't stabilize a mite. Maybe a fresh road will open up to me if I shut off the imagination for a while and just let it all ride.

Beyond that I won't plan... don't have the emotional energy to watch another plan get ground into dust.

There's an old joke; The Boss only hits you with what you can stand... so... either I'm one tough old bastard... or the Boss has really misjudged what he's working with. Either way, I'd appreciate it if he tested on somebody else for a bit.

The only other option that comes to mind is karma... The idea that karma, good or bad always catches up with you. Yeah well... if that's true it's not saying anything nice about this worn down gypsy.

- Brian

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

In The Blink of an Eye...

Everything changes...

Something as simple as putting a foot wrong can have catastrophic effect. As my world crumbled around me the past year or so I fought for a new vision... a new... Life.

That's torn up now.

Dreams die hard and leave a great aching void behind when they go.

The VA... contrary to what that man in D.C. claims is not "fixed". It never will be.

Busted this shoulder up two weeks ago. Took nearly a week just to get through their phone tree to make an appointment. There's an appointment now for an MRI... more than two weeks from now... a month and some AFTER the injury - just to get a diagnoses... and they say "World Class Medical Care" - Their words - in their phone message while you wait for someone to answer...

Yeah right... well... I don't have much inclination to wait. Sitting here, feeling trapped is not doing anything good for what's left of my mind and spirit.

Motion in all directions has come along in my arm... if only 20% or so... but it's slowly healing without their non-treatment so I believe that's the way forward there... so I just move along.

There's a deal working if it all comes together. Any building or such here at Cochise is done and suspended. I'm likely going to Missouri, to spend some time at my daughter's place while I heal up some.

Heal up and regroup. See if I can see the way forward from another slap down. It took a year and more to dig into this hole... it'll be some time clawing my way back out.

- Brian