Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Flip Flop Flip Flop...

Yeah... I feel like one of those kids toys that runs around bangin' off the walls heading off in another direction only to get as lost as a blind man in a corn maze!

A little wandering philosophizin'... You might could have a difficulty following my trail... I sure as hell am!

The more things change the more they stay the same... Which is me... I've been a Nomad since the first thing I can remember. Never been satisfied or content where I was. Always looking at the far horizon... Hungering for movement and change... And not Only with my carcass but in all sorts of ways... Just a Nomad clear to the bone.

Made a small comment that opened up a pretty philosophical conversation with my daughter today. We got to talking about the idea that ever'body has a path...

That idea, a predetermined path, has always got wedged cross-ways in my craw. One of the many things that has a way of coaxing me to bite my nose to spite my face.

We pretty quickly whittled out the determination that it's not quite that way. My feeling is that ever'body has a "Thing" they want to pursue... a passion or a need... and they head off for it... only to run headlong straight into LIFE... PHHHHHWHAPPPP!!!

Yup. Just about the time you got it all figgered... that ol' saw about "LIFE is what happens when you're makin' plans" rears up its un-pretty face and tosses you a curve ball... Only, here's the tricky part... Lot's of times that curve ball isn't actually real... and sometimes it is.

The trick of course is conjuring up which is which out of the dust and mists that blind you in the storm that is that "Curve Ball."

Then of course, Ego comes a flyin' in there, just because it all wasn't convoluted and tangled up enough...

So... there you (I) sit... whupped and bloody... face down in the dirt. You get up, brush off the dust with the arm that ain't broke...turn around the way you were goin'... and start pushin' on again, one more time. Over and over you stand up from another beat down and push on again... because, You ain't a quitter... Right? So you just keep throwin' good effort after failed, unable to get your nose up out of the dirt long enough to see that somewhere along the line you got clean off the road you had set out to explore! That place where when you look back, you truly felt yourself to be in the right and proper place.

You even repeat those words over and over trying to convince yourself to keep on... because you invested so much sweat, blood and tears into it that you can't stand the idea of it failing or the embarrassment

Uh Huh... so, Daughter and I is talkin'... and we come to understand in there that sometimes that "Nudge" you feel is the Boss... seeing that you got Diverted and lost from what was your chosen and good path. The path that feeds that personal need you have in your soul.  He doesn't choose your path for you. He can see the train wreck you're headed for and only tries to nudge you back onto the good way you'd chosen for yourself in the first place. The path that you lost in all the confusion of life.

And, maybe so, some of those "Nudges" you feel calling you a different way is another guy NOT the Boss. And they aren't Good nudges. There's no other way to say it. They are nudges that come with - Evil intent- That feller is masquerading as the Boss, or that no good lil' troublemaker Murphy... Just whispering in your ear trying to trick you into stepping away from the good and proper way you'd chosen for yourself.

All that nudging and whisperin' in the dark kinda gets an old buster cross-eyed. You feel that dream you had slipping away and can't see the reality through the smoke and dust of the struggle.

I've especially struggled and strove the past two years and more. With each battle to overcome I've stood back up a little bit farther from that place where I felt content. Where before the knocks and hits were just things you had to deal with... this past few years the hits drained my spirit and soul.

I've been losing ground steadily...

Well, this morning I somehow wandered without intention to a couple of posts I wrote back in the summer of 2013... That year was the absolute best of any of the last many. Twas after that where ever' damn thing blew up all to hell... and I mean EVERY thing.

Then I got "Nudged" to read Mark's blog and BaWHAP! Rubber mallet up side the head time... and right here is where I went inside and made my comment to daughter... Who got a grin on her face and started in about "Everybody has a path"... which truly, she's been poking me with a little bit before now...

So... when you find you got lost, diverted, confused... seems like the best thing to do would be to turn 'round about and go find that last spot where you still knew where you were; Don't it?

I am still sorting through all the nudges. Making two piles. The one's that turned out to be "Something or Someone" selling me a line of fertilizer... and the one's talking straight.

One thing that was good, was and is this blog and the website it's part of...

Yeah... I'm hunting that last good spot where I wasn't lost...

-Brian 






Saturday, December 31, 2016

End of the Trail - Last Post - Moving to a Fresh Blog

I'm making the final move now. I can't seem to get the powers that be to let me hang the new blog on the nav bar of the website like has been done in the past... so the only way to keep up is to bookmark the fresh blog.

This blog will fade into being an "Archve"... all Fresh Posts will be on my New Blog;


If you'd like to keep up with where I'm goin' and what I'm about that'll be the place to do it. 

Hope to see you on down the trail a ways.

- Brian

Thursday, December 15, 2016

I'll Soon Be Rolln' My "Bedroll" Out in a Fresh Camp...

I'm working on a "change of venue". That's one of those writes euphemisms for; I'm starting up a fresh blog. I came to thinking I needed something that was more fitting to how I'm going these days and what I'm about...

Onliest trouble is__As seldom as I set such things up, getting it done is a piece of work. There's a fancy bit of elektawnic dancing that has to be done... and nobody, especially the ones who created the system have a real working idea of how to go about it.

When you factor in all the eggheads sitting behind the keyboards for the big outfits running this show__(The internet) it gets danged messy. They repeatedly "Improve" things (That is - mostly fix what ain't broke just so they've something to do). The result is, it takes twice as much work and a week of blue smoke, bad names and dirty words to sort through the "Improvement"... and generally the beer brewers sales improve as a consequence... I needed an excuse... Right?

Been trying - and failing - to get a Fresh Blog linked to my RV Website... they've made it so hair pulling convoluted, and I've no hair left to pull... that I'm questioning the value of goin' through their exercise.

The hoops to jump through are way to disjointedly explained, with far too many "mights" and "sometimes" and "Ifs" used in relation to their directions. That gives them an 'Out' when it doesn't work and nobody knows why... (which is from my perusal of the forums where folks are struggling for help with the "new" and "improved" and "Easy" system...

The likelihood is I'll abandon that lil' enterprise and just go a different way with it.

Not a bad thing... it'd fit into the simplification I'm truly trailing just now. Much of the "Internet" has lost a lot of its shine for this old buster.

That said A Fine Horse in New Country will be taking over as my "Main" blog in the very near future... there's little to read there just now... only a paragraph or so and some page headers for pages I have yet to build... all just to give me something to post as an initial test and to lay the foundations for me to tinker with.

Soooo... I'd appreciate it, if you want to keep on trailing along, if you went there and "Followed" me again. The gadget to do that is right there on the right hand side... 'Course as always, you can just bookmark it too.

I've got all sorts of doodles and ideas I want to work on (and write about) in the future so might could be the 'Semi-sabbatical" I've been on for a while is winding down. We shall see.

This blog will remain... I'll write a "Link" post here when I make the final move (and this blog will remain (along with my very first blog) as an "Archive" and a way for people to find where I went!

Many Thanks
Brian