Showing posts with label Crushing Sorrow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crushing Sorrow. Show all posts

Monday, May 20, 2013

1979-2013 ... Been a While... Learning to Treasure the Bits and Pieces...

34 years today... and still ticking... kind of like a roller coaster at times... but like the ride... it's a closed circuit... so it just keeps on clickin' along. ;)

Yesterday we went to collect a few jugs of water for camp... and ended up doing something between 5 and 6 miles of high country walking.


As pretty as the eastern Sierras are, that beauty is real often difficult to capture on "film".

Like yesterday, we were walking in what most might call dark timber. The trees were so thick it's hard to get any perspective to capture a decent photograph.

It's times like that you have to focus in on the smaller bits of the whole scene.

Pretty much the same as the Grand Canyon. It's just too much to put into one photograph, so you have to sort out the small bits you Can get your head around.

... and then try to find a way to record that small piece to remember the day with.

Often, that sort of country, like we walked through yesterday... is my preferred landscape. There's a feeling of safety... when shrouded by timber so thick you can't see thirty yards.

Don't get me wrong, open country, far country... stretches your soul. It feeds the hunger to travel to that far horizon... to see what lays beyond it...

But... the trade off is... out in that open country... you're exposed... there's no where to hide, no where to retreat... It's like you're committed with no going back. It can be intimidating. That's a feeling I had alone on a motorcycle on the Alaskan Highway, deep in the Yukon... Committed... No Going Back...



In heavy forest... where you can slip away unseen in seconds... there is an ethereal feeling of safety and seclusion.

It does my soul good to know that even in California... where your first thought is often the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people crowded together in a huge megalopolis...

... that just a short run away... is deep forest where your soul can catch its breath... Secluded from the hordes and clamor.

So... we were headed back from getting water for camp and decided to check out a couple more of the Free NF campgrounds in the area, to see if they'd been opened up yet...

***now that's a paradox of sorts. The NF service allows most of its sites to be badly over priced... and then has a gob of actually sweet camps in this eastern Sierra area that are FREE! ... it would be a whole lot better if they'd just find a happy medium... like say manage their camps Themselves, like the BLM, charge $8 for ALL of  'em... and send the Mgmt. Corporations packing? :) plus, they'd get a greater return that way to boot!***

Well, back to the Walk... So... We ended up 4 wheeling up Deadman Road... to a point where the road narrowed such that a Polaris Razor might be comfortable on it... but not an 8' broad, wide butted Dodge flatbed; so we got out to make a short walk...

You walk a short ways and say; "Let's see what's around the next turn"


The short walk becomes a mile out... two... and a bit... and ends up a four or five mile circle.

The forest absorbs the turmoil in your head... your breathing slows... a strange feeling of serenity and belonging seeps into that space behind your eyes where thoughts tumble without being put into words.



Should a man be sad that it took him so many decades to find the "place" in this life where he belongs?

Or should he just thank his lucky stars that the life he's had... has taught him to treasure so dearly all the shining bits and pieces?

To not regret the crushing sorrows, and shattering fears? ... but to acknowledge that it was those moments that create the contrast that makes his todays so clear in their treasure.

Like the forest itself...

... parts of it are bent, broken, burned and shattered... but it struggles on...

... and in amongst all that... is new and shining life.

Remember the old saying... "you can't see the forest for the trees?"

We've been moving around great areas here... obsidian domes , pumice mines...

There are great areas here that from ground level look only like huge areas where mining tore things to hell and then the people who did it... left...

I'd wondered how could there be a big enough market for obsidian to justify such a mining effort.

The places look like the ugly scars of mine tailings dumps as you pass by...

*View from ground level*

There must be a half dozen of 'em in the area...

DOH!

Yesterday, while trying to figure out just how far we'd actually walked (left the phone and its tracking app in the truck... doh!)...

Heidi pulled up a google earth pic that revealed the volcanic truth to us!



View Larger Map

We were driving along that lil' dirt track along top edge of what is actually a volcanic crater... and I'm thinking it's an old mining waste dump! ... DOH!

The point is... stop and look around... There's often a lot that you're missing with too casual a glance.



Also found along the way...

A fire pit in a campground...

...built by one of those camping there...




*Buck... at the headwaters of Glass Creek and the Owens River*

Just treasuring the bits and pieces... "a glass of buttermilk, a soft bed"... following the wisdom of my Ol' buddy Gus. ;)

So... today I gotta get rolling... heading off for an Anniversary breakfast and then some ghost town site seeing... and likely an Anniversary lunch too... if I can find a drunk to roll! ;)

Another Day in the Sun
Brian

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

71 Years Ago... Attacked From Without... America Was Betrayed... From Within.

Most times as I wander this land, what I find is uplifting and Joyous. In the Owens Valley... What I have long known but knew little of... Was in my face and would no longer be ignored.

Some will be offended by this post... and by my anger. That I can not help. Through the years our Heritage has been to Claim ourselves to be "The Guiding Light of Freedom". For that reason...

~ I hold America to a Higher Standard ~

In the desert of California is a place. An empty piece of dirt... Where Oaths were betrayed and hearts were broken.

Like most others, I had let it go and did not educate my self. It was another time. It wasn't my responsibility. It wasn't relevant... I was a blind fool.

In 1942, Roosevelt, the 4th Army and a sizable part of the vaunted "Greatest Generation" Betrayed America ... at a Place called Manzanar.


Let me tell you about Hero's. They are all flawed. All of them... Give them the Honor they are due... but... don't hold them up as infallible saints; They are men. Listen to them... but learn and see the Truth for yourself.

Many of the men of that Greatest Generation did do great and honorable things... My step father was a decorated and courageous bearer of the Purple Heart. But he too was flawed.

There were others however whose faults ran deeper than mere human weakness. They stained the memory and heritage of the True Heroes with deliberate DIS-Honor. What is worse, average Americans SAW it happening, and let it. They didn't stop it. That is our greatest Shame.

The cowardly, despicable, and immoral actions of those days Must NEVER be forgotten. They must Never be repeated.

Imagine this happens to you; Your family is given a week to dispose of or put into storage, all of your possessions. Your stores, your shops, your homes are boarded up. Your job and your livelihood are gone. Most of your possessions end up forfeit.

You are ordered to assemble at a location to be "Processed" and "relocated". Your family is tagged with a number and herded onto buses by men with Bayoneted Rifles. Your world has devolved to just your family and what you could carry.

The buses drive out into the California Desert. When you arrive and disembark the first thing you see are the eight gun towers outside the Barbed wire fence. Their guns point inward. They are not there to protect you... but to ensure your imprisonment.





Your family, you, your wife or your husband and your four children are assigned an "apartment". A 20'x25' room in a board and tar paper shack. Latrines are many yards away across the desert sand... whether it be 100 degrees... or ten.









If you are a couple without children you are assigned to a 20'x25' identical room, in a board and tar paper shack... with Three Other Couples. No dividers. No separation. No privacy.

**Only signs remain today of the ugliness inflicted on American citizens... and a few reconstructions... to show the cruelty and hardship.**

If you resisted? There are eight gun towers and many Military Police to deal with that... it happened... and men died.

It can't happen here you say? This is America!
This is NOT the fantasy of some right wing lunatics rant. This DID Happen.
This is WHAT WAS DONE TO AMERICAN CITIZENS. In the Name of Defending FREEDOM.

This,  IS our History.

~~~~

110,000 American Citizens (some legal residents for Decades, yet prohibited by racist law from obtaining citizenship) were rounded up, given a number and herded onto buses and trains to be transported to American Concentration Camps...


*The Numbered Tags... and Family Stories of the Numbered*

American FAMILIES Imprisoned not for a violation of morality or law...

Imprisoned Not because of any blasphemy, sedition or act...

IMPRISONED, their Liberty TAKEN. NO accusation, NO trial, NO Conviction...

Their Freedom gone, due only... To Being Born.






The first of the camps to be constructed... was Manzanar.
In all, ten American Concentration camps were erected.

~ Manzanar War Relocation Center ~

Sweet little harmless name for a concentration camp, don't you think?"

It reminds me of other signs I've seen...


*Auschwitz*

~ The American Concentration Camps ~



California 
Manzanar and Tule Lake

Idaho 
Minidoka

Wyoming 
Heart Mountain

Utah 
Topaz

Colorado
Granada

Arizona 
Poston and Gila

Arkansas
Rohwer and Jerome

I choke and have difficulty speaking, tears run down my face at the thought. What soldier could tolerate this despicable insult? What soldier could abide the betrayal of the very same Liberty he was watching his friends die to preserve? What soldier forgot the oath he took - and held a bayonet to American Citizens?

In 1944 in ever greater perversion, the willingness of people; both those standing in front of and those held BEHIND barbed wire and Gun Towers,  to accept the unacceptable was tested. The threads of credibility and honor were twisted to their breaking point, when attempt was made to Draft those incarcerated for their imagined disloyalty, and DEMAND that they serve in the Military to DEFEND THEIR LIBERTY. 

Innocent men, imprisoned without cause... were ordered to serve to Defend their Liberty!

Refusal was taken as proof of their disloyalty. The sick arrogance of that stuns me. How can you demand that a man, illegally imprisoned with his family, defend his Non-Existing Liberty, while his family remains imprisoned behind barbed wire, threatened by American Guns?

I Honor those who refused.

*Drafted... While their Families knew THIS*





*A Judge or Two possessed Honor*

A few resisted this final insult and were convicted. They received, in 1947, Pardons. How great is the insult to be Pardoned for a crime you did not even conceive of committing?  Pardons for their being convicted of Defending The Constitution they were being drafted to defend are to me the final insult in this cowardly saga.

What perversion of language and morality can justify this sin against our heritage?

What payment to its victims can ever wash away the memory of the pain, the anguish and the betrayal of what was done in the name of Defending Liberty.



The ghosts of the betrayed call out for remembrance. "Never Again!"

I walked through this sad place and choked on the sadness that echoes across the land carried by the desert breeze. I vow, I could feel and hear and taste the sorrow and hopelessness that must have been a crushing burden to those incarcerated here. It broke my heart.








Their ghosts cry out for us to pay heed and stop it from coming... Yet it does come Again! The bitter lessons and failures of our past scream out at the betrayals of the present; "LOOK! Can you not SEE?". Betrayals born of unconquered fear. Betrayals born of Cowardice.

Have American Citizens been taken from the street? Carried to Guantanamo and held for years? Held without even specified accusation? without indictment? without trial? without DUE PROCESS? The answer is YES.

In their unbridled cowardice are states passing laws authorizing the seizure of "property" without due process? A clear violation of the 4th and 14th amendments? The answer is YES.

Have Americans been specifically targeted for assassination by Drone? Without the DUE PROCESS REQUIRED by the 4th and 14th Amendments to the Very FOUNDATION of our Law and our Society? The answer is YES... one of the murdered, a 14 year old boy.

Can you honestly try and convince me that one, lone, Orphaned, 14 year old boy, lost in Africa could truly be of any viable threat to the survival of a Nation of 330 million? So dire a threat that he must be secretly assassinated by missile? Are we truly that Weak and cowardly?

It comes again because we deliberately close our eyes in cowardice and look the other way. "It's not me. It's none of my business. The authorities know what they are doing. I have to trust them."

It was never said more eloquently;

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.
                                                ~ Martin Niemöller 

THAT deliberate, cowardly ignorance is how the names of Dachau, Treblinka, Sobi Bor, Munchausen, and others have come to represent the depravity of mankind.

The residents surrounding those man made pits of hell knew what was happening there. Ignorance was an impossibility. They turned away and let it happen. They were conditioned to acquiesce to "Authority".

The difference between The American Concentration Camps and those of The Germans can only be measured by the degree of cruelty. The motivation was and remains the same; The stupidity and cowardice of racism and intolerance.

When you listen to the current "Authorities" or others spout their propaganda against this or that fringe group or minority, measure it against the lying propaganda that deprived American Citizens of their rights and property in 1942... That brutalized their children with gun towers and barbed wire.

That threatened their very lives if they resisted strongly enough. More than one WAS shot.

It happened before then... it has happened since... it will happen again... BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT TO.

If we don't raise up our voices and our Lives against it we are shown to be cowards... Our Liberty becomes only a Facade, and we are unworthy of the Reality of it.

They say; History Repeats Itself

Gun Towers ~ Coming to a town near you?

 The lessons of Manzanar and Nine other American Concentration Camps are not irrelevant old History. They must be remembered and learned from in the life we live this very day.

The lessons of Manzanar can be applied to the foolish and cowardly choices and decisions that have been made and tolerated since and as a consequence of 9/ll.

The lessons of Manzanar can be applied to the hysteria and racism that are the consequence of the battle and debate over illegal immigration.

The lessons of Manzanar can be applied to the hysteria and fear that is all wrapped up in the debate and vitriol over the issue of Gay Rights.

How many Americans are different than the residents who lived around Dachau? or Treblinka? or the others? How many would rise up if Mexican Americans were preciptitously ordered to "Assemble" for "relocation"? Manzanar IS relevant today!

How many would stand in defense if "Gay" citizens were ordered separated from our society in some way?

You're not Mexican right? You're not gay! None of your business! The authorities know what they're doing. They "Promised" to do the right thing right?

How many promises have you ever known any elected gov't official to keep? Let's not even start with  the unelected bureaucrats that are the true rulers!

Manzanar was a betrayal of everything this country claims to be. It was a heart breaking horror 71 years ago that insulted the sacrifice of millions of soldiers who thought they were fighting, and dying for Freedom...

Its Memory is Brilliantly Relevant and applicable Today.

It takes courage and integrity to live in True Freedom and Liberty.
It takes more than waving a flag and pounding your chests on Memorial day and the Fourth of July.
It takes the guts to risk all for Honor and Dignity.
It takes the willingness to risk life itself, rather than betray a promise or an oath.

If we lack that willingness, we have already surrendered what we claim to hold dear.

If you willfully ignore the lessons taught to us by the proud, courageous and noble American citizens incarcerated in those despicable camps; If you ignore the voices of those Americans who in disbelief and with shattered hope; absorbed their abuse and betrayal with dignity and Honor... You condemn other Americans to the same sorrow... and America... to the ultimate destruction of that which set her apart.



To stand in the center of this camp... where 10,000 souls were held behind barbed wire... and imagine what it would be like to look up and see those glorious mountains... so close you could almost touch them... and know it would mean my life if I tried... It breaks an old soldiers heart :'(



*Our Wall of Shame ~ The Names of the Betrayed Americans*

*The ghostly foundation of a Mess Hall... can you hear their voices?*

*Ignore History... and it WILL repeat itself*

Please... don't be blinded by propaganda, racism and stupidity. Open your eyes to possibility and Hope. Do not turn away in shame and embarrassment from History. Hold it close and learn from it.

Travel here. Learn the truth for yourselves. Honor their Sacrifice and Suffering.

Use the Lessons of History to prevent the repetition of such a Betrayal of our Heritage.

~ Brian

**Editorial Note***
Grateful to a sharp eyed reader I returned to correct an omission that slipped past me.

Many members of those I've been calling the Betrayed People enlisted or were drafted and assigned to the 442nd Regimental Combat Team. It has widely been heralded as the most highly decorated unit of the United States Army. It also took by significant proportion the highest level of casualties for a unit of its size.

The point is, in defiance of the misery heaped upon their families, in spite of the fact that their families were held behind wire... the men of this Courageous Unit went, they fought and they died... for the Freedom of which they and their families were deprived. THEY were truly the point of the spear of the Greatest Generation. They upheld the heritage and traditions, with sheer guts and integrity, that others dishonored. They carry into the future the Honor, Respect and Pride they earned.

They are men I consider exemplary American Citizens.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

It Is a New Dawn... And We Must Go On Again...

Nearly two days of being cooped up in the rig with a cold desert rain falling; only the sadness that often  darkens life coming to me over the net... and it became a dark and heavy time alone here on the Sonoran Desert.

I'm working something out here... try to stick with me...

So often in these horrors, the media sensationalizes the story for profit and makes the vile beasts that performed the obscenity some sort of despicable celebrity. So many can remember the names of various deviants... yet the names of the innocents they took from us are consigned to anonymity. 

I say... ignore the identities of the beasts... let their vile attempts to achieve some twisted form of attention fail. Consign their souls to eternal darkness. Erase all memory of their very existence. Forget Them.

Let us instead remember only those Lost to us.

It is known that many of the teachers were taken... 
shielding and protecting Their Children

The names and birth dates of the Souls taken too soon
 ~ Let Them Not Be Forgotten ~

Charlotte Bacon (2/22/06), 6 years old, female

Daniel Barden (9/25/05), 7 years old, male

Rachel Davino (7/17/83), Staff member, 29 years old, female

Olivia Engel (7/18/06), 6 years old, female

Josephine Gay (12/11/05), 7 years old, female

Ana M. Marquez-Greene (4/4/06), 6 years old, female

Dylan Hockley (3/8/06), 6 years old, male

Dawn Hochsprung (6/28/65), Principal, 47 years old, female 

Madeleine F. Hsu (7/10/06), 6 years old, female

Catherine V. Hubbard (6/8/06), 6 years old, female

Chase Kowalski (10/31/05), 7 years old, male

Nancy Lanza, 52 years old, female

Jesse Lewis (6/30/06), 6 years old, male

James Mattioli (03/22/06), 6 years old, male

Grace McDonnell (11/4/05), 7 years old, female

Anne Marie Murphy (7/25/60), Staff member, 52 years old, female

Emilie Parker (05/12/06), 6 years old, female

Jack Pinto (05/05/06), 6 years old, male

Noah Pozner (11/20/06), 6 years old, male

Caroline Previdi (9/07/06), 6 years old, female

Jessica Rekos (5/10/06), 6 years old, female

Avielle Richman (11/17/06) 6 years old, female

Lauren Rousseau (June 1982), Staff member, 30 years old, female

Mary Sherlach (2/11/56), Staff member, 56 years old, female

Victoria Soto (11/04/85), Staff member, 27 years old, female

Benjamin Wheeler (09/12/06), 6 years old, male

Allison N. Wyatt (07/03/06), 6 years old, female

Tears burn as I think of the treasure lost and the torture being endured... I have to hold back a blinding rage and the desire to strike out... the desire to crush and destroy the evil that walks this earth... I choke on it.

But, Rage does not Honor and is no fitting memory of these women and these precious children. 

What can we do? There is only one thing we can do...

Live as they would have...
Seek the Promise stolen from them...
Seek out Life... in their Names.

With tears staining my face, and a shattered and broken heart... that is what I intend to do... It is the only thing I can see to do that does these lost souls any Honor. I go on. I must.

~ ~ ~ ~

Late in the afternoon yesterday the storm started to fail... and the sun began its return...






This morning I awoke with a soft sunrise to welcome a clearing day... Another one of those First days of the rest of your life.



The dogs were bouncing off the walls after being cooped up for too long and we were able to get out, soak up the sun and breathe. It's easier here... in this solitude... to get things put in the right order in your head.






... the harder part is to maintain their order when you return to socializin' with the rest of humanity.



We were still out there... puttin' things right... when this outfit flew low over our camp... and I thought... "man... I don't need this!"

The engine sputtered and died... you can see the prop not moving in the small pic.

I thought for a few seconds the sunrise that had promised a fresh and hopeful day had lied and more sorrow was close... until whoever was piloting the thing... fired it back up... and then disappeared down below my horizon...

... apparently, there's a lil' strip over there... and this outfit was practicing dead stick maneuvering or engine stall recovery or some such. I'm not so sure I'd wanna do that... quite that close to the ground! Not a whole lot of room for error.





The dogs and I were able to finish our stroll in the desert with no more excitement... and returned to the rig with a better outlook than the gloominess that had descended around here.

The idea had been growing all morning... and it came clear on that walk... the words of Robert Frost and others...

Quote

The events of the past few days have driven home, one more time; I can't, we can't allow these events to lead us to destroy the liberties and the glorious potentials we all have. If you truly want and need to Honor the lives of those who are taken you must find the Courage to LIVE!

If their suffering is allowed to destroy that of our world that was good, it is yet another attack on them. We must Honor their loss by embracing LIFE not an ever greater assault on Liberty.

With that in mind I must rededicate myself to the pursuit of Life... to pushing out darkness with laughter... and finding that Joy that it is said; "Burns out the pain."

I'd run across this outfit surfing RV's the other day... and I this morning I thought... Floating Fresh Hope...




How awesome is this rig? It's not about the "Thing" either... it's about Life and fun and laughing through the tears. What choice do we have?

It is not sacrilege or inappropriate. It is exactly appropriate... especially this time of year... to seek out life and joy in the face of the things we cannot change.

With simple inspirations and a refusal to allow their memories to be tarnished by our quitting, I step off... One foot in front of the other, one more time, as...

Life Goes On...
Brian