Monday, July 29, 2013

We Done Busted the Rules

Etiquette says... One Night At Walmart. Uh huh. And for all the times we've been patrons of the Night Stoppers of Walmart society... that's 'zactly what we done.

'Till now.

This night shall be our Third night, courtesy of Walmart. Parked it with a lame truck Saturday afternoon and received the clearance that we'd have no trouble, so we could get into the shop Monday morning.

Monday morning rolled around, right on schedule... the truck rolled into the Dealers yard, right on schedule... and right on schedule that @#%$ Murphy showed up.

Now, in amongst all the wires and hoses and confabulationary plumbing and hardware that constitutes the guts and structure of a modern diesel truck lives a thing called the ECM. That's engineer speak for engine control module.

Fabulous lil' boxes. They tell the engine how to run and when to do it in a fashion that makes these late model rigs run the old thumpers of my youth to gasping wrecks trying to keep up.

Uh Huh... right up until they don't. Now, in the old days when the side of your carburetor blew out, you could look in there under the hood and say; "Aw Hell! The side of the carburetor blew out!" The fix was simple. Bolt on a fresh one.

Now, you have to ask that ECM and it's lil' recording devices; "What ail's you son?" and 99.9% of the time it pops up a CODE that tells you 'zactly what's ailing. Uh HUH. Not 100% I said 99.9%

Any of you still wonderin' what % I stumble around in? You thought YOU were special? HA! I live with the sure and certain knowledge that I ain't no 1%er... I am a .1 %er... you see that lil' bitty POINT there in front of the 1 right?

Yup... that fancy ee-lek-trawnic whizbangin' gizmo under the seat... or wherever they hide it... refuses to tell anybody which part is the right part... to replace... It didn't record a dang thing.

The consequence being; "If it ain't broke... we can't fix it!"  arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!  ... and I'm not willing to roll out into the far flung wilds with a lame rig.

So we ride into our THIRD Walmart night...

Well Hell, at least they have craft beer for sale inside and no shortage of TP...

Life is a Beer... Goes down easy and frequently leaves you sitting on the porch looking stupid.


acheapguy said...

I'm going to assume you went to the dealer and there was no code in the ecm. If this is true, be sure to have them check fuel pressure, if you don't have a pressure guage added on to your dash guages. It should be 13-14 lbs.


Brian said...

acheapguy; Yeah, went to a dealer figuring they're the only ones to reprogramme the ECM if that's the culprit and nope, No codes stored in either controller. ugh. two things. I haven't added a fuel pressure gauge but I did put a pressure warning sensor in that warns of low fuel pressure. Also, the stumble is not the stuttering struggle of a bad fuel pump of which I've had like five over the years. This is that 3-5 seconds of simply no throttle response. Runs perfect before and perfect after... No hard starts and no anything but that "Stumble" running down the road... and of course, the light and the CODE cleared before I could get it to the shop... WHAP WHAP WHAP! in the head with a rubber mallet!!! So... tomorrow they'll try again... and I might just take it out and TRY to force another failure... so I can take it in with the Idiot Light Active! :)

Unknown said...

Howdy Mr Gore, NDR;

The dealer should have a portable computer they can hook-up and then test drive your truck to hopefully capture the error.

We had a similar experience with the Excursion a few years ago. Same symptoms as you have described. No one could find the problem. The ECM finally died while driving across central TX. Just like turning off the key, the engine died and we coasted to a stop. $1500 and 24-hours later we were back on the road.
Hope your solution is easier and cheaper.


Brian said...

Hey Mike; yeah... was hoping to avoid that :-/ SE Washington and a lot of Texas have a lot in common.

Guess we'll make sure the towing is paid up and roll if they can't find it. Figure the ECM or the TPS... and Can't get either to trip with anybody looking :-/ damned murphy bastard...

Well, fixed or not, bound for Montana sometime soon.