Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Diagnostic Epiphany of the Psychological Disturbances of an RV Boondocker

... with a Prognosis of continued and incurable convoluted contortions and compounding genetic Psychosis.

I'd begun to think that I, as a shining  example of genuine Heroric RV Boondocking masculinity, was beginning to suffer from some sort of early onset dementia and confusion.

There's been an alarming set of symptoms recurring with increasing rapidity...

At first light each morning, I wake with visions of duplicating the minimalist, "cereal box with a pop top" home on wheels of the Box Canyon Bloggers.

As the sun rises toward noon however, the designs swell to a pickup with a built on Motorcycle garage, housing both a solo and a two up touring motorcycle pulling a toybox trailer with a customized classic Volkswagen "Thing" safely corralled inside.

By five in the afternoon the drawings take on a remarkably close resemblance to a fortyfive foot Diesel pusher with four slides accessorized with a hot tub and fold down, elevated deck; Dragging a Cadillac Escalade loaded with double Kayaks and two racing mountain bicycles.

Only... to retreat back to the pop top cereal box, by bed time.

The relentless, near daily, repetition of these mental gyrations was beginning to cause considerable alarm and consternation amongst the few remaining working neurons still resident within my crusty brain pan.

I live with the sure knowledge that I've employed my cranial appendage as a protective bumper, far too many times, during episodes of unexpected dislodgement from cantankerous equine transportation. 

While my purpose of attempting to prevent traumatic damage to vital pieces and parts of cowboy anatomy, from a too rapid convergence with the rocky topography of sunny slopes was admirable; I'd begun to have worrisome thoughts of excessive brain damage being the logical consequence of a possibly incomplete strategy.

Now, our current neighbor/"camp" host has a  couple of dogs. It was while observing those pups, and contemplating my place in the universe, that the Diagnostic RVer Epiphany impacted me with considerable force.

You see. I have discovered that my brain damage may be considerably less than first thought!

No sir! All that bumpin din do enee hawm ta mee a awl!

The truth of the matter is, A Gypsy Biker Cowboy is just and only the natural, genetic, hyper active Human Relative of a Border Collie.

What other people might see as indecisive, fickle, waffling, or some sort of attention deficit disorder is really just natural, normal, Human, Border Collie-ism.

That's why we have to keep moving. It is the genesis of our wandering ways. Ever watch a Border Collie? They can't sit still for too long. If they've nothing to do... they FIND SOMETHING... and... what they find isn't necessarily a good thing! :)

If we suffer the enforced prohibition of yondering for too long a time, the native border collie mentality takes over. If there is no movement, we will cause movement. Good bad or indifferent, there WILL BE MOVEMENT by God!

If the only thing that will move... is a bad thing to move.... It don't make no difference! I'm movin' that sucker! Gotta make it move!

gotta go gotta go gotta chase the ball, throw the ball, I'll go get it, throw it again! Do it Now! Throw it! I'll get it. run in circles, bark twice. I'm back, did you throw the ball? should I carry the shoe until you throw the ball? Huh Huh Huh? what? didn't hear me. I'll ask again. Throw the ball Ok. I'll go get it. bing bing BINGGGGG! riqochet rabbit! bouncing off the wall, nervous energy tee total Psycho!!!

So... The point is... ever' time I've a lil' too much "Down Time"... I get to doodling how I could move this, change that, rebuild the whatever, while I remodel the whoosywhatsis, and renovate the cheese whiz!

Now I know... Though there is no cure, there is a functional treatment... fill the tank, press my foot down on the pedal on the right... and wear some rubber off the tires! :)

Psycho Yondering Boondocker In Colorado
Brian

Return to the main site of goin' RV Boondocking or Visit my Sister website Motorcycle Touring on Freedom Road

5 comments:

Cherry Wanders said...

As a veterinary technician of a few many years I just wanted to offer this small nugget. We often see working dogs go a lil' buggy from lack of work. They often become destructive and occasionally aggressive from not having anything to do.

john said...

wow what did you say heheh lost you in the first paragraph wow again..upon further reading i agree ..with that said have a gr8 day ,,,wow again ,,hehe

Joe said...

You just described my wife! She is most definitely a border collie. As for me... I'm a hound dog. I'm good with sittin on the porch and waiting for something to happen. I guess thats the balance in our relationship!

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so much at this post:) We have a Border Collie as our travel companion, and we see a lot of this behavior. She is "elderly", 12 years in a few months, but she is still a Border Collie. She has us on a schedule and when we "wander off", she lets us know, and does her best to get us back on track. We have found we need to wear her out with long walks, which is good for us too. Even with all her "quirks", it is a pleasure to have her along for the ride:)

Snackmaster and Jan

Box Canyon Blogger said...

keep your rig and your money and your space... but empty your space of everything but essentials. The grass always looks greener. But we make choices and live with them. Eventually our Chalet A frame will be the perfect rig... eventually, when is that anyway?