Pruning a Few Parts Off, Healing Up the Broke Parts and Hanging a New One Here and There...

Checked off another VA appointment in Cheyenne yesterday; A recheck from the poke and prod of last summer... they bobbed a chunk then and a couple more yesterday. At this rate, if they keep that up, there won't be a lot left filling out my jeans!

Today replacement of the tire that got ruined in the asphalt dance last Friday is on the schedule. Discount Tire (Or America's Tire depending on your location) has stepped up once again. Absolutely the best tire company around. I walked in the other day and joking I asked if Colorado's drivers classified as a "Road Hazard" under their tire warranty.

They looked at the tire... And... that's exactly what they're doing! Yep, gonna cover the tire under their Road Hazard warranty. How cool is that? They had to order in the model of tire I have so today that'll get hung on a wheel.

Not sure when I'll pull east. Monday or Tuesday maybe. No terrible hurry. Eight hundred miles and a bit... for I don't know how long. Likely I'll haul out again when the itch gets intolerable.

Kind of have a Montana summer in mind working on another book or two... parked some'eres up under the divide maybe. But then, ever' time I plan a thing out... so maybe I should just drift where the wind blows me.

...maybe work another harvest in the fall to help recover from this past year of stumbles.

Return to Cochise in the fall?

Just dust in a gypsy wind
- Brian

Desert Sunsets to Blue Smoke in the Rockies...

There was an old song... not sure who sang it... "Turn turn turn"... That's pretty much the feeling I'm walking around with... or mite could be "spin spin spin" is a bit more accurate.

With the need to be shed of my camp in Arizona for a while I hauled out as I said a few days ago. Glad I'm away now yet still miss it much... and many thoughts still stumbling around in my head.

 Last sunset for the season in Cochise camp...

Hoping to cool out I stopped up in the Tonto basin only to have the duplicitous ways of the world decide to keep prodding me to move along...

It's getting harder and harder to just be. The ways of this world are confounding, dishonorable and leave a foul taste in my mouth whenever I let it into my camp.

I don't mind even a little bit if people hold nonsensical ideas. It's their right to be foolish. But when they work to impose their foolishness on my as THEIR right, and pretty much make unwillingness to co-operate with their nonsense a criminal act... my shorts get bunched in a real uncomfortable knot.

So I try to go where few people are... it's lonesome... but at least a fella can breathe.

Along a byway in New Mexico I rested in a night camp I've used before... some wouldn't like it... tends to be dirty 'cuz so many people, as they travel across the earth behave like swine... but... there's a back corner that usually is tolerable. With it's back up against the open ground boundary fence - nobody can get behind me...

I've noticed in watching "Travelers"... the "dirty" ones generally hail from cities... those considered crude and "inbred red-neck country boys" by those "Townies" are generally the ones putting their trash in cans and leaving only tracks behind... curious don't you think?

When you spot somebody tearing up the country with ATV's, Bicycles, Motorcycles or chainsaws... and dumping their trash, and worse, everywhere they go__mostly they lead you back to a Town... if you ask 'em or follow 'em... and nod in agreement with the guy complaining about the destruction of the environment... as their cheetohs bag rolls away on the breeze...

Just an observation... and a disconnected tangent...

Got up two mornings later in the lot of a casino I overnighted in... cranked up the diesel, twisted the knobs for the heater and got instant fogged windshield and steam out of the vents... Aw sweet. A blown heater core... that's only a days work and a hundred or so in parts... if I do it myself...

Sitting on my hands one at a time to keep them warm in the morning chill I rolled... Till I got to a section of four lane with a heavy load of traffic.

Being distrustful of the other drivers I am surrounded by on the road I had stayed back to keep a pretty good gap in front of me. But still, up ahead I saw the brake lights popping on and traffic slowing__so I came off the throttle.

Buuuut... traffic went to stopping pretty hard so I dropped a gear and added some brakes... at the very same moment that the two left lanes all chose to dive over into the right two... I was rolling along the far right of the four...

Yep... dive over and fill the safety margin I'd been maintaining... while making an abrupt and complete... STOP!

Brain dead sorry bastards... I think it would be proper if a few physics questions were required to be answered correctly to get a drivers license. Like how fast can 16,000 lbs or so of truck and trailer stop in comparison to your Sentra? or your F'ing Volvo???

I locked on the binders with that sick certainty wigglin' in my belly that there was no way I wasn't going to mangle at least two of the morons suddenly stationary directly in front of me...

buuuut... with 1 1/2 functioning arms I managed to herd that pickup that was so desperately trying to jack knife in front of it's 30 foot gooseneck over onto the wide shoulder.

I Got it threaded between the last of the lane jumping townie morons and the guard rail without tagging either, and eventually fought it to a sliding stop in a cloud of blue smoke...

The sort of smoke you get when you ruin a good tire that WOULD have had several thousand more miles of service in it...

When I looked back in the mirror, the last car of the lane jumpers was beside my trailer tires... with two more in front of him...

and the car that HAD been in front of me was still a couple of car lengths in front... which meant my "safety margin" had been pretty good...

Now who do you suppose would be slapped with the blame and the Financial Responsibility if I'd crushed and killed those three cars of highly educated townie maggots? Wanna Guess???

It's a damn good thing I didn't have any horses in back.

For one, with another few thousand pounds behind me I seriously doubt I'd have been able to make the maneuver to escape... and then... my "behavior" regarding the damned fools now sitting beside me would have been radically changed had one of those horses been hurt...

I vow__You'd have seen it on the evening news...

God I love the human race... What would we do without fertilizer. Sorry if you're offended by my lack of the requisite "sensitivity" in this can't-we-all-get-along Disney warped soh-sigh-uh-tee. I'm fresh out of patience with the growing stupidity of the two legged plague I see spreading across the land.

I swear, a rabid possum has greater value than way too many of the people I see cluttering up the world... can you tell I'm still just a mite angry?

This morning came a colorful sunrise pregnant with its Red Sky warning...

For me the warning carried on the wind is; "Brian... You don't like being alone, and it's a pure fact - you do it poorly... But... You and 'modern' people mix like a bonfire in a match factory! They are willfully blind and make no sense. Get clear of them! Go! Find your way through this latest mess... sort out the remnants... heal up... fight some horses back into your rig and your camp... and RIDE!

... Leave the grasping socialist morons behind to sink into the morass of the wretched cesspool they are all conspiring to build."

I may feel defeated and beat down__but it ain't over. Not Yet.

 I'm broken and whupped up on... but I ain't dead and I ain't beat. It may be a stormy sunrise but it is still rising... so I keep on keepin' on 'till I get where I'm goin'...

When they block one road... find another... or go cross country...

A few days to take care of some VA stuff... and then continue on for Missouri...

There's an old saying__ faster horses, younger women and colder beer! (a small edit as I'm not much of an older whiskey sipper)  ;)

- Brian

Now I Have to Scratch the Tonto off the Camp List...

Tonto National Forest has gone the way of greed and arrogance. It not only raised its fees, which I admit were low, but they compounded that by terminating acceptance of the National Forests own senior/golden access cards! Combined it's an increase over last year of nearly 270% for the folks like me. For a month it is a jump from $90 a camp site last year to $240!!!... A little steep from where I come from.

Really it's the continuation of the attempt a few years ago by the vendors operating the majority of Forest service campgrounds (because the forest service is too busy NOT logging or mining) to eliminate the cards. I warned then when everyone celebrated the defeat of that attempt that they'd do this... Nobody listened then, I expect few are now...

The consequence of the ruckus raised over that fight a few years ago is that rather than eliminating the passes and their 50% discount... the vendors have all pretty much just doubled the fees.

Of course as a consequence of that, usage falls off steeply, so the vendors also open late in the spring and lock up, public land, early in the fall when there's not enough "traffic" to pay the profit they demand...

Everyone is all riled about the Bundy's fighting the BLM and Forest Service and their abusive management actions... and calling them and all the other ranchers greedy... while the BLM and the Forest Service continue to take actions which push the common man off the land... raising fees. Reducing services. Closing roads.

... Giving the land to private campground management companies at a fraction of proper and market "rental" rates: the campground management companies pay an avg. "rent" of around 4-5% of revenue... the store we had/have in Colorado the "Rent" is around 15-18% of revenue. But the ranchers, who are the ones who did ALL the water development which allows the deer and other critters to even exist there as well, are the bad guys...

and nobody says a damn thing.

Just one demonstration of the callous disregard of a government and it's bureaucrats gone deaf.

Between that and the people I blundered into here I'm pulling out a day early...

Two fellas, that I suppose could be classically labeled "liberals" regaled me with all that's wrong with Corporations and "Rich" people... Now, this is all done standing in front of the $500,000+ motorhome one of them was "camping" in...

"The corporations and those "Rich" people need to pay their proper share of taxes that they've been avoiding..." says one...

"Corporations Never pay tax" I observed. "The people who buy their products Pay The Taxes." they looked at me like this old cowboy was speaking greek...

Then I had an epiphany of sorts.

"uhhhhhhh... Wait! ... What???"  says I. His Motorhome (like I said, a rig easily north of $500,000) was standing there with Montana plates on it, as was his Toad...

"Didn't you just tell me when I asked what part of Montana you're from, that you aren't from Montana? That you registered your outfit up there..." wait for it... "TO AVOID THE TAXES???"

The fool just stared at me... buuuuut he did get kinda testy when I asked if he could spell Hypocrite... Yeah... I admit it... My diplomacy, more and more__SUCKS.

Behave and think in ways that I don't approve of. I cannot defend my own Freedom unless I defend yours, and that means defending Your Right to hold attitudes and values I personally find offensive. That includes Racism, Sexism, political beliefs... whatever...

... But... I draw the line when your arrogance, stupidity and bald faced hypocrisy attempts to physically impose your nonsense on me and mine. Keep it just words and your "hands" to yourself and we'll have no issues.

I vow... I feel just like that gopher at chucky cheese must. What do they call it? Whack-a-mole? Every time I stick my head up to look around__WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

I have come to see that the gnawing of loneliness is superior to__far too many People... or at least it's less nauseating.   

I think more and more of the Values held by Crazy Horse...

Sooooo... I'm taking my grumpy, broken, intolerant butt down the road a day early to search out some "healing" somewhere's else!

-Brian

The Melancholy of Another Leaving

Cora and CJ were loaded and hauled away yesterday...

*** Cora and CJ... loaded and leaving :( ***

I got all loaded and hitched up this afternoon... and I'll roll away with the coming dawn.

***an empty corral is a lonesome thing***

With my round pen standng melancholy and empty I need to be gone from here.

Maybe I'll come back in the winter... we shall see.

No plans really past the next few weeks.

***The rig is loaded and hitched***

 Felt very off balance and strange last night. I saw the time and jumped up and was outside... heading over to feed before it registered that I didn't have that any more...

Just a few short weeks ago it was all so different... Just two days before I busted my shoulder up... The light after the latest storm was so bright and hopeful on the Chiricahuas... The horses were coming along so good... I was going to climb on Cora in the next couple of days... then WHAM!

***Just a month ago***

Here it is a month past that now... and past the transmission blow up... My Horses are gone and I'm hitched up again and rolling off into whatever comes...

Last nights sunset was so soft and quiet... the tears were running... I need to be away from here right now but I'll miss it... and all the hopes I had for this place.

I'm going up to a camp I use on the Tonto, and cool out a few days... then roll on way far north to Cheyenne. A bad place to be in February. There's a weather window I may just slide through... The VA is pulling me in for another Thing...

Last summer when I let them run their test... I knew... I KNEW it was a bad idea. It's messing with things that are better left alone. If it ain't broke don't fix it...  It's like I jumped out onto a slippery slope. Now I can't seem to get rid of doctors and mechanics... meh...

 I don't hear no fat lady singin'... so I guess it ain't over.

- Brian

Cowboy Choreographing...

When you're Camped out on the desert some things can be a bit of a dance to get accomplished. Never thought of my self as a dance instructor... but... that's kinda what this is. A half dozen moving parts that seem to want to go fourteen different directions.

Sort of like teaching an epileptic Octopus to dance.

The Truck needs to go to a shop in Wilcox to get the transmission swap done. The Horses need water. A rental car is reserved in Tucson... and the remanufactured tranny is up near Phoenix.

Me? I'm 35 miles or there-a-bouts outside of Wilcox...

It's like a giant jigsaw puzzle with pieces made of balsa wood that you have to shuffle around and hold in place while a gale force wind exposes the faults in your planning.

With a suggestion or two from some others I managed to find the car in Tucson. So... late Sunday I'll haul water and get all my troughs and jugs filled.

Then, Monday morning just after sunrise I'll drop the truck at the Wilcox shop to get things started. I've got a ride arranged that'll  gather me up for a ride to Tucson to pick up the rental car.

As soon as the busted transmission is pulled and the Buckeye shop calls me that the new machinery is ready I'll go back for the broke one in Wilcox. That gets hauled with me when I pick up its replacement... That saves the shipping back and forth (which fitting into my tight time frame was unavailable anyway) ... and also the $600 core charge the remanufacturer charges until they receive the core.

Then, hoping they get it all back together quickly, before the end of the week!... I'll roll by the shop and pay 'em for the work... then roll the rental car back to Tucson where they'll carry me to the bus station so I can ride the old fashioned way back to Wilcox to get my repaired truck.

Yeah, unlimited mileage rental cars and Greyhound busses can be blessings in disguise.

Another few days after that and the colts move along if that plan holds... and then I'll leave here for quite some time.

Honestly the thought of getting as far east/north as Missouri for what's left of the winter has little appeal... so it's likely I'll drag my feet some. There's a few soft camps here in Arizona where I could lay up in a decent situation with water and such... maybe get my head into doing some decent work on another book...

Have to get to doin' a good bit of work to repay the piper for this latest gypsy dance.

... At the least I can start cooling out from the trials of  whatever it is that's been whuppin' on me the past few months.

Duckin' an' Runnin'
- Brian

I've Heard It All Before...

I've heard all the cliches and seen all the memes... keep smiling, stay positive... think positive thoughts, maintain a proper attitude, keep you chin up, it's going to get better, look on the bright side... yadda yadda yadda...

Yeah... I won't run down the litany of the past__I don't know how many years. I can only tell you this; This old buster is used up, wore out, drained dry.

Layin' out here in the desert with a bum arm, thought I'd worked around the latest slap down one more time. The wing is healing if slowly. Cancelled the MRI due to research and the feeling it's healing well enough surgery can't be justified so cut out the expensive procedure. My research shows conservative treatment has outcomes pretty much equal to surgical anyway so I'm not going through that ordeal for questionable gain.

So... all's good and and moving along... right?

Not so fast. Got in the truck two afternoons ago and quickly found out__one__more__time__

It's a bad idea to start hanging an optimistic pretend smile on your face thinking it will "catch on"... It can always get worse.

WHAM! I was right. It just got worse.

December 2013 blew the transmission. Lost 5th gear. $2500 later it had a new transmission and clutch as well. So... having been built with parts that were redesigned to eliminate the "issue" and that "Have never failed yet"...  So that's one part we don't have to fret on! it's all good right?

Nope. Fifth gear blew out__Again.

This time of course I've no bike for transport while the truck is down... on top of nada left in the bank after multiple equipment failures, huge vet bills... yadda yadda yadda... So... working out the choreography to do a repair on borrowed money from a hundred miles out into far country... Maybe by this time next week THIS will be a bad memory... assuming that choreography is worked out...

A semi-plan is also working that should see the horses leave around the middle of the month... soon as they're gone I'll hitch up a hopefully successfully repaired old truck, and drift.

My daughter has a small place in/near the Ozarks that she's prodding me to come visit while I mend.

This chapter of my journey has caved in on me. With no useful alternatives in mind I'm thinking I just may do that into the early summer at least... see if things won't stabilize a mite. Maybe a fresh road will open up to me if I shut off the imagination for a while and just let it all ride.

Beyond that I won't plan... don't have the emotional energy to watch another plan get ground into dust.

There's an old joke; The Boss only hits you with what you can stand... so... either I'm one tough old bastard... or the Boss has really misjudged what he's working with. Either way, I'd appreciate it if he tested on somebody else for a bit.

The only other option that comes to mind is karma... The idea that karma, good or bad always catches up with you. Yeah well... if that's true it's not saying anything nice about this worn down gypsy.

- Brian