My life is in a turmoil. Old ghosts wreaking havoc... marriage gone... self respect in the toilet...
Everything I treasured and valued... family, commitments... broken... I am lost...
And yet... I go "back to horse"...
Why? Because of the spiritual connection that a man named Carson James exudes...
When your heart is broken. When your soul is raped and bleeding...
For someone like me there is only one poultice... one bandage... one medicine that has any hope of restoring your broken soul.
Horses.
Carson James is a horseman... more than a horseman... he is, THE horseman in my mind. His perception is the sort that has been described by others as "horse whisperer".
Let me tell you a secret... Horse Whispering is...Bull...Shit...
What "looks" magical is actually the extremely sensitive perception of a horseman...
In a sweet and timely spark in the universe I have stumbled across... when most needed... A Horseman... who is a showman... but who is FIRST... a Horseman...
The sort of horseman who is real. Who will not sacrifice the animal for a dollar... who understands the mind of the animal...
... and most importantly... who understands, on a spiritual level... the need, the hunger of the Human Heart... for a connection with the pure soul of a horse.
-Brian
3 comments:
I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. There is one who will never abandon you or give up on you and you can find Him in the book you probably have within your reach. He is waiting.
I had a feeling you were undergoing these kinds of times...it was in the tone of your writing in your last few blogs. I guess you could say you saw it coming far earlier than you wanted to admit. You need to do what your soul wants. Whether that makes any sense to even your family or marriage. No loss of self respect in doing that. Perhaps you tried, but didn't really admit it was not a fit for you. Doesn't mean you don't love or need them less in your life. I wish you luck in NOT falling into that pity party within. Even YOU hate it there...git on with whatever makes you put one foot in front of the other and start liking it again...you only have so many more breathing days left, Bucko! Love on your pup like HE loves on you...get some horses and you will be OK...because they will love and appreciate having you in their lives always. Hugs!
I'm sorry to hear you're having some very tough times. I hope happy times will return to you soon.
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