Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Past, is Gone. The Future... Stretches Out Before Me...

Funny... weird even... how Fast... things can change...

We lived within 50 miles of right here, from Timnath to 15 miles above Livermore, for something like 23 years... Only left last September... Raised our Daughter here. Was blessed with Treasured Friendships on this land. Laughed and cried... nearly died a time or two :) ... within an hours ride (on a fast Motorcycle!)... of right... here...

But... something... something I struggle to put words to... pulled at me... poked me... prodded me to move along...

Until, finally, last summer, we broke loose...

*an early camp... late last summer... finding our Freedom*
 ...and now, here today... thinking about the past months... it already, don't feel like 'Home' around here any more...

There's people here... close people, who will always be a part of me... there's the dull ache of missin' 'em... when I don't get to see or hear 'em for a long time...

... but... when it's all said and done... the pull of the road... that uncomfortable, uneasy, something is off feeling is stronger...

My Home... is a place between my ears... where I can close my eyes and see it, and Feel it... and the contentment that others feel... Secure in their Houses... is the blessing I get...

The Only Place that I have ever found that Blessing... is in a camp... somewhere, along The Road...

I can talk of what I'd do if I quit wandering... I can talk of home bases or base camps... I can talk about the problems of equipment and fuel... but... curse me for sayin' it... in the end, the life that feeds my soul, is waiting on that restless, endless, Ribbon of Highway... High Mountain trails... lonely beaches... and quiet, secluded, boondocking camps...


 I'll come back to see friends, I always will... but... it's that intangible something, that slips through your mind as invisible as the Wyoming wind across the High Plains... that the road gives a man, that will always keep me wandering... Yondering... standing with my face in the wind...

... seeking... what even I can't describe with words...

... I know not what I seek. I only know... that the urge to go, the hunger to search grows into something akin to panic... when I sit still for too long. It's a part of who I am, and the past 7 months has turned it loose...

Trying to cage it now. or me... is a useless and futile effort... I'm sure others will try... It's not my intention to dump on those folks... or be mean about it... but... I laugh at 'em. Luck with that. :)

I am Free, and I will remain so...

Just a Man... Free on the Earth
Brian

Return to the main site of goin' RV Boondocking or Visit my Sister website Motorcycle Touring on Freedom Road

6 comments:

Barney (The Old Fat Man) said...

"I know not what I seek." What I seek finally came to me a year ago. It is the feeling when you are rolling down the road. The destinations are much less important than the going. That is me anyway.

Brian said...

... and, Very Much... Me! The going and the "searching" ... just may be the thing :) Take Care!

Handmade Crafts Done While RVing Blog said...

Wow the passion of your words struck a cord...

Evielynne

Gaelyn said...

I recognize that pull, for what's around the bend, over the hill and beyond. Enjoy and share. But be glad not everyone has that same desire, or it would be crowded out here.

flyfishnevada.com said...

We're headed out on the road after the boys are on their own (5 or 6 years). You never know if you'll enjoy something until you've done it, but your posts like this one always make me pretty sure we will.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I've been listening to you for a while, by choice, you really hit the nail on the head tonight...I hit my thumb more often than not,I thought i was in the minority, but these earlier people have the same thoughts...Be nice if we all ended up by a campfire together sometime...Who knows..It's a very small world..

UPRIVERDAVID