It's Never Over... 'till It's Over...

 "How hurtful it can be to deny one's true self and live a life of lies... 

... just to appease others."

- June Ahern

Going after life doesn't happen on its own. Because it causes fears and doubts. Fears and doubts can cause a person to question their choices and talk themselves out of living.

When things don't work... you still tend to keep on keeping on because the "Dogma" conditions you to "stay the course"... no matter how that trail has lost its shine for you. You try to blind the change in your heart with the idea droned into your head by all around... that "Anything good takes hard work."

I'm as stubborn as any, but, I've come to consider that there may be another way. A better way. If you find that the work to get where you're telling your heart  it wants to be, is that "difficult" ... you might could want to take a long hard look at what you're doing. Could be the wrong part is out front.

Your Heart should lead you, not the other way 'round. Intellect is a fine thing... but only in support of the ambitions of the heart. Intellect not following the guidance of the heart and the soul is but an electro-chemical curiosity lacking any true purpose.

It might could be you got lost. The journey to get where you're going SHOULD be a glory in itself... not a soul draining burden. If you are being drained rather than inflated... STOP. Be honest with yourself and see what's really what.

In most cases (when you're on the right trail) you'll find that, in the end, it was the journey to where you were going that was the greater joy, not the destination.

There is an idea that once you start along a path, because so much time and effort and treasure has been invested already... you must remain on that path no matter what. A belief that if your heart changes you must ignore it because that makes you weak and indecisive and unreliable.

-Bull Feces!-

"If you always do

what you always did

you'll always get

what you always got"

                   - Pat Parelli

If your heart begins telling you that what you're getting isn't what your soul is needing... you have to move to a fresh path. Simply repeating the same failure over and over is a variety of Nuts!

Sometimes I think I'm crazy

Because I see things

Differently than 

Everyone else

                  -unknown

To go after life you must first grab fear by the throat and whisper; I won't be commanded by you today. Leave.Me.Alone. and then deliberately throw it aside.

Never

allow waiting to become a habit

Live your dreams and take risks

Life is happening now

-unknown

Let me remind you

wherever your energy is directed

That's where your energy goes

Whatever you allow in your space

You eventually become

-unknown

I've waited long and come up thirsty. I've planned things that didn't go the way I envisioned... and I've allowed fears and doubts to arrest my living.Well Ok... enough of that then.

 “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” -- Joseph Campbell

Luckily for me... I've kinda conditioned myself to become increasingly aware when that cancer of complacency begins to grow... and my native tendency is, once I've recognized that that's the case (even when that takes a goodly while) to rise in rebellion against it. To choke down my fears and shake things up even if it makes no damned sense to anyone else.

"If you ever find yourself empty of something you cannot know or name, find a stretch of ocean, a field, or mountainside, or even clouds, or trees. Because there are 1,000 simple ways to fill your tired soul so you can remember how to be, how to see, and most importantly, how to breathe."
            - Victoria Erickson

Conquer your fear. Choke it into extinction... and get to livin'.

Let 'er Buck!

Brian

When There's Nothing Exciting to Write About...

... maybe the best thing is to just stay quiet.

Get up in the mornings as the sun is crackin' the night and put the coffee on... and the heater... Stand on the heater vent while I wait on the coffee...

*Sunrise on the Mazatzals*

Some times the dawn breaks soft like you'd expect...

*A sunset at dawn...*

Other mornings it tries to confuse you. You have to look at the clock wondering if you slept right on through the day until sunset... but then you think; "Hell, I don't sleep hardly at all... so that's kinda unlikely!"

Then... with a hot cup...

I go over my storyline diagram and what notes I use so I know where ever'body's at... to get my head warmed up for the story and then start peckin' the keys... Pretty quick it catches and I'm off...

Sometimes it takes off a runnin' and I get a 3000 word day or better... sometimes it just strolls along and a thousand good words get whittled... some days... My head is off somewhere else so I don't even waste the time of trying to move the story along.

It's all gotta come when the lil' wizards say it's time I guess... So I write when the words are flowin' and just breathe when it's time for that.

It's a slow and quiet time... I believe if I was one of those woo woo "the turnips are talking to me" psycho babble sorts I'd think maybe the Tonto Basin has a "vibe" flowing around that gives me inspiration to write...

whatever, the place or just the right time... I seem to be making good progress on what I "Think" is another good story...

"The Horsemen" is coming along well... I think (knock on wood)... I am superstitious ;)... Time will tell. Barring a major jam up... I could have the main manuscript zipped up middle of December...

Put in a focused effort on editing... Publish sometime in January? That'd be a fine way to start the new year. Publish my fifth Novel and start the sixth!

Back to work now to get Ol' Jebediah out of a jam before it's time to shut off the lights.

Brian

Uh Oh... More Gadget Stuff...

In the past I've posted from my "phone"... buuut that's done by emailing the post. That's ok... but there's no ability to set up the post as I want it -or- tag it etc...

So... now I have this midget computer-in-a-pocket... Samsung Note 3... annnnnd... a growing issue with "data" on Verizon...

There's "something" going on that I can't seem to identify. I raise the data limit and reduce usage... and STILL Verizon says "more data was used"...

Now... when that happens when the damned air card is turned OFF... my shorts start getting twisted tight.

Something has got to give cuz my patience has expired! So... I finally got logged directly in here thru my phone gadget... idea is to see just how much I can really do with this... and maybe in the end DUMP that "jetpack". (cuz SOMETHING ain't right with that) ... how do you use 1.5 gigs... with the thing OFF???

Verizon has kinda screwed the pooch on this one!

In the mean time... I'm camped on Roosevelt at $3 a day... hard at work on a long list of tasks Starting with getting this next "Jeb Taylor" book completes.

While most of the rest of the country seems gripped in an early deep freeze... flowers are still bloomin' in the Arizona desert... 70 and Sunny here! :)

Well... it's kinda awkward with this lil screen... and uploading pics is a new experience :-P ... buuuut in a pinch, and if my shorts stay knotted... I think I can make it work!

We shall see...
Brian

P.S. Almost forgot... hmmm... changing auto insurance... which is a HUGE PITA hassle! Surprised huh? so... since my Oh-Pin-Yun of most All insurance is purty jaundiced... I'm goin' with a "national" "online signup" outfit... whatever... I make few if any claims... so it's mostly to meet "legal" obligations... That said... I got the truck done yesterday (in like an hour and a half of website hassles) I wonder if Obama's boys are doing insurance company websites now? hahahahaha... anyhoo... Old cost? about 110 a month... "New" cost for little real change? $36... hmmmm... seems like Verizon ain't the ONLY outfit screwin' the pooch! ... if you're buying auto insurance... and fit into the same "mentality" that I do... I'd advise snooping pretty deep... $90 a month or so savings on just one wore out old vee-hickle is a pretty good savings...