There was a fella. He was a cowboy. When he'd asked his daddy why they were cowboys the reply had been; "It's either one of two things boy; It's 'cause we're too dumb to do anything else... or the Boss thought there oughta be at least one critter... dumber than a cow."
So, many years later the cowboy was digging a hole for a new outhouse. The old one was full up and darn near unusable. It was a hot day and he was working hard. The buster's concentration was on the hole and that next shovel of dirt. Focused like he was on his task, he lost all track of time and progress. The fact that the rim of the hole had risen up over his head went by un-noticed.
He toiled and shoveled until finally, out of breath he stopped to rest. While he stood catching his breath he started to look around. It seemed to be a lot darker. He wondered was maybe a storm coming?
That's when he realized, the only thing visible was the brown walls of the hole he was standing in. Looking straight up he could see the blue sky overhead... but realized... he was stuck in the hole... No ladder. Not even a rope.
"Crap! Ol' Dad was right... That was dumb. I shoulda paid better attention."
While he stood scratching his head and pondering his situation a man walked up to the rim and peered down into the hole. "Looks like you've a real problem here. We can help! I'm from the government... I'll drop some forms down for you to fill out! When you're approved we'll subsidize the purchase of a backhoe, financed for 79 years, so you can dig faster and with less effort!"
The cowboy... being slow witted and prone to not believing let alone trusting the claims of government... chose to take the shovel he had... stop digging the hole deeper... and dig a ramp to climb out on instead...
When the man from the government returned with his forms and found that the problem had already been fixed, without his help, he became quite upset at the injustice of the outhouse situation.
He ran around doing talk shows and making speeches claiming that for the benefit of society it was necessary to make outhouses affordable for everyone. "People need help! It takes special skills and engineering, beyond the capability of the common man, to build an affordable outhouse!"
Eventually he had the cowboy arrested for being a "bad apple" and constructing the ramp without a permit. He was also charged with excavating without having made an environmental impact study. A fine was sub-sa-qwently levied for not signing the backhoe contract, had a per-use fee imposed on the newly dug outhouse to fund a federal waste disposal permit, while also fining him for the illegal dumping that had taken place in the OLD outhouse by the previous three generations...
The moral of the story; If you find yourself with a hole full of shit... don't expect "free" and subsidized "help" offered by the gov't to be of much benefit to your situation.
or; "If you keep on doing... what you've always done... you'll always get... what you always got."
The World as I see it
The good thing about a hole full of shit? If you're a politician who has a brain leak(don't most of em')...at least you have a hole full of replacement brains!
Post a Comment