Another Trip to The Denver Zoo...

I love zoos... and I hate them.

 On the one hand... they're the only way most of the people will ever actually SEE a bit of this world around them.

For whatever reasons... they don't or can't go out and explore it.

But... down inside... I know the feeling this guy has... I understand the feeling reflected in his eyes.

So I am a bit ambivalent... 

Life isn't fair... the world isn't fair... never was and never will be.

So... only thing that can be done is to keep on striving to get better.

When it comes to these places, zoos and such... many are doing that. The enclosures are being improved to be a more natural setting at least.

The animals are given more space and freedom to move about... and... maybe... I hope... Being able to see them might instill a small bit of motivation for people to consider how they live...

... and live with a greater respect for the world they live in.

Maybe it results in a better world for those that are still wild? IDK... I can only hope.

The kids are big enough now that they are a mite more "engaged". Makes it a lot more fun for the "old" folks along with 'em. ;)

Seems like these days, even the kids are kept on a lot shorter leash. They can't run the neighborhood like when I was a boy... scared parents keep them close... so it's fun for them too... to be able to run a bit without somebody hangin' on to 'em...

You think your bed is uncomfortable???

... Try sleeping standing on one leg with your face shoved into your arm pit!

*No. It wasn't me!*

*What did he say???!!!*

Zoos aren't fair maybe... but managed right... with respect for the critters enclosed within, they might could promote a respect for the rest of this lil' blue marble we live on. If we come out of it taking only what we need and leaving the rest...

If they leave a few people with a smidgen more respect for this world...

... Then maybe the sacrifices involved were/are worth the cost... IDK... just a wonder to think about...

Reach for all those little bits of life along the way... and let the "big picture" maybe take care of itself...

Brian

A Few Views From An evening on the Farm

The views here are cut short by the windbreak. To see the mountains you have to walk around the south end of the west wing... and there they are in the distance... still snow capped and shining.

Just the same... there are views that still fill a fella's eyes if he stops long enough to enjoy 'em.

The thunderheads have begun building every afternoon... Last week they brought some genuine gully washers. Had the rig separated from the driveway for a couple of days by a small pond. Combined with the growing spring runoff from those mountains... They've got the Poudre River flowing pretty bank full. After last September... folks 'round here are a little nervous if they get a couple of days of rain in a row.

This afternoon the first thunderheads only dropped a soft rain for ten minutes or so. I sat under the nose of the fiver enjoying a brew and watching a Robin cut up a worm in the rain... probably for a nest full of youngin's.

*The Old fiver, sheltering behind the windbreak*

The fresh scent of a soft rain when the days work is mostly done is a fine thing. The wind might go to roaring around here, but where the old Eagle is parked... it can't hardly get to her.

The Raider is camped in that shed over yonder. She's almost ready to go... just waiting on a couple of fresh lights... as soon as UPS get's 'em to me...

If I stop and close my eyes... and listen real careful... I can hear the men calling and the steers bellowing as they thunder up the loading shoot into the waiting truck...

My good friend holds this place... because it holds a hundred years of her family's history here... and she intends to add to that.

So many memories come to a person when they stop and breathe and look around... some full and joyful... others ripping and full of black sorrow...

Life is a genuine puzzle...

The sky has gone dark now... Thunder is rolling in the distance... the wind has come up, I can hear it rushing in the tops of the windbreak... the rattle of rain again on the roof... that fresh scent again flooding in through the open windows...

Life keeps moving along...

Brian

The Days Run In To Weeks...

Things around here are... quiet really... There's plenty of work to do, yet, I feel no urgency. Any time I start to feel that outside pressure to perform, to produce... to be what I'm expected to be...

... It's like a mother-in-laws put down... it just offends me and pushes me away. Truth be known, the more pressure I feel to produce and be "Useful"... by some other's description and valuation of what that is... the less inclined I feel to co-operate and be "useful" in their grand scheme.

Not a terribly popular way to be. ;)

But... you know what? ... the sunrises still come...

The music still plays on the stereo... and my bike still waits on me over in the shop.

I'm nearing the end of that project... this past week I got the pipes put back on, with some little difficulty. It's a two man job to hold and jockey them around, the way they need to go.

Of course, there was nobody around but me... 

But then, that's how it's most always been so I've learned how to do two man jobs alone.

So... eight studs... eight nuts... three quarters of a day... ;)

This one was the big obstructor. The way things lay, it had to be lined up first... trying to balance five foot long pipes on my knee while torquing them into position with one hand...

... and trying to get the nut onto the stud concealed behind the pipe I'm sliding into position... with the other hand.

A hand equipped with fingers two sizes too big for the space allowed... and the nut is dropped and falls into that black hole below the exhaust port...

So... a run had to be made to acquire a supply of replacement nuts...

... and then it happens again with a replacement nut! arrrrgggghhhhh...

I was about to make the third and successful attempt when the idea niggled my brain pan that leaving a couple of nuts floating around somewhere inside the engine... even if they were still technically outside the case... was not a good idea.

So, a half hour was consumed fishing with a piece of tie wire... for nuts that couldn't be seen... down in a little black hole you can't even see into. ;)

But... I got it done.

*Refinished exhaust pipes reinstalled on the Raider*

Somewhere along in there the parts house called and advised me the obsolete blades I'd ordered for that mohawk leaving riding mower were in... so I went and got them and put them on too.

Watcha think? Did all the good get squeezed out of those old mower blades? I'm not sure what was being mowed in my absence... I expect it resembled rocks...

In the quiet times between the chores, an occasional visitor drops by...

Now... that out house itself is a bit of a problem. It hails from the days so long ago, that this old farm lacked indoor plumbing. Yes sir... that is one OLD out house. Thing is, it must have been built for awfully little people.

The problem comes up when you're swingin' past with the push mower...trying to cut close and concentratin' on not hitting the battens on the back wall. The owner of the place would take offense at things being busted up mowing the grass!

So... your eyes are focused on the mower... NOT that low hangin' eave... which just so happens is about four inches shorter than the top of my head...

The consequence being you wake up laying on the ground saying... owwwwwwww!

Well... the weather which went from snow storms to thundering rain storms finally allowed me to get the saddle bags re-repainted yesterday. Re Repainting was necessitated by the paint being way different between cans... resulting in an unwanted two tone finish...

The weeks wait required before that paint could receive another coat is the sort of thing that creates ever more difficulty for one who thinks up fresh difficulties if he's left with the ability to ponder too long...

And I did... decided to remodel the bags... since I was having to re-repaint anyway... 

so while waiting on paint and weather and parts... I removed the old tail lights...

fiberglassed over the holes... and prepped for the repainting...

Now... the finish paint is actually done... but the one time I've not got a pic! :) I've got to wait a couple days for that to cure up well before I go to handling them much for the reinstall.

That's ok... I've got to wait on some parts anyway... new turn signals... so that should maybe give me an opening for some more word whittling... and the wondering where the road is gonna lead in the coming months...

... there ain't no way in hell I'm wintering this far north! uh oh... that pondering thing again...

Brian

WHAP! Slurp WHAP! Slurp WHAP!

Thats the sound of whackin my head with the rubber mallet in 1 hand and imbibing from a medicinal Tommy knocker in the other.

Arrrrrrrrghhhhhh...

First, the black paint for my saddle bags, out of two cans labeled identically, was not identical paint. Supposed to be satin black... one was closer to semi gloss while the second was nearer to flat.

The consequence being a very different finish... grrrrr... and being an epoxie... now I have to wait another week, before I can repaint...

Then...made the fateful choice to replace my broken and dying phone... annnnd... the quickly to follow, wearing out air card...

You know, every time they "improve" something it takes on another layer of obfuscation, that's unmodified recycled bovine manufactured fertilizer for you scientifically enhanced types.

Then, they "Save" you money... uh huh... riiiiiight...

How come ever' time somebody saves me money or does me a favor I wake up bruised broke and pregnant?

Yeah, so after struggling for most the day to get the "easy" upgraded hardware to function, I thought I'd go hang the pipes on the bike...

... yup... you guessed it right... the pipes I took off that Yamaha my self a few weeks ago... will NOT go back on. No matter how I wiggle curse and threaten... there's one nut that no tool I have can reach!!! Arrrrrrrghhhh!!!

What the @!!!%@$# !!!! I took them off my self! I KNOW this because I was there!

Well now, what does a properly fed up and exasperated puss gut mountain cowboy do in such a situation? I'll tell you... he breaks open a bottle of medicinal ale... and cools out...

... so to the fridge I go...

Wait for it...

EEEEEEEiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!

No Beer!!!

The Only thing that fell into place without a hitch...This... day, was my Lil liquor store down the road was open on Sunday evening!

I am NOW lowering my blood pressure and knocking stuff loose...

WHAP! Slurp WHAP! Slurp

Brian

Curiousities and Perambulations of a Drifter's Brain

It's a curious thing to me how most of us allow the world around us and the people moving around us, to define us... and write the story of who we are.

It's true. We talk about who we are. We make claims... but when the rubber meets the road... Most of us... do what we're told, rather than reaching for what that whispering in our souls urges us to chase...

We seek their affirmation... rather than the affirmation found in the peace that exists within ourselves and knowing we reached for our dreams.

I fully understand why that is... If you resist "their" assigned definition of you, refusing all but your own definition ~ of what you are and hope to be ~ you are then labeled; arrogant, selfish, anti-social and all sorts of other insults and vilifications... simply for living your life and not theirs; For upholding Your own values and not subordinating them to the values of those grasping for control of your life.

We wish to have peace and so we circle around the confrontations... but once you've been diverted from your proper path... finding it again can be a misery.

It's done with insidious and difficult to combat methods. There are things that are taught and inculcated into you since birth. These things are drilled into you as attributes (which they are) But then they are turned against a person as the very weapons that enforce their submission and obedience.

1. Work Ethic. Be a productive and useful person. Sounds pretty... but productive of what? and "useful" for who?
2. Good Citizenship. translation; be a good, quiet, obedient member of the herd.
3. Be Responsible. To who? For what? ... this is one of the Good things that gets twisted and perverted the worst.
4. Stop being selfish. Share. Think of someone other than yourself. (only THIS is driven to extreme)
5.  Compromise... except for the reality that no such thing exists. "You have to learn Baby Sister, you can't always have things your own way." (know where that quote came from?) Demands are made on you. To be a Good and unselfish citizen, with a decent work ethic you are emotionally beaten to the negotiating table. They only bring their demands on YOU... you bring only You. In the end, the "Compromise" is that they reduce their demands on you by half... and you surrender that half... of course... they are back next year with fresh demands... and new Compromises... give and take? riiiiiight.

That's the beauty of a well worked Con... The con artist takes a kernel of Truth to bait you... Once it's seen that you've bought their "credibility"... you're kept dancing and distracted so you don't notice when the "airplane" you're riding makes a big wide turn... taking you in a direction you had No Intention of Going...

Don't talk about and illuminate the problems around you... keep the din going 24/7 of bieber's latest punk behavior, what latest stupidity some kardashian has been up to... and who really cares about some nfl player kissing his boyfriend? just keep the mind candy diverting their attention... here and there throw in some bit of the brutality that befalls those who resist ... just to tickle their fears...

...and it's all done under the protective and obfuscating blanket of  the built in coercion of Peer Pressure... from all the good, quiet, obedient members of the herd.

It.Is.Hilarious. People forget that a Free Man is a disobedient man.

By the time you wake up and realize where you are, where that damned plane took you... you're so far gone... it's too far to get back... most just surrender, give it up and go along...

You know... Discrimination is a word that's vilified these days. Yet discrimination... is maybe a person's greatest tool. Being able to discriminate between what fits in their world and what doesn't... What values soh-sigh-uh-tee has the right to demand and those it doesn't...

Then, if you're lucky, you possess and can sustain the second greatest tool, the courage required to hang on to what fits, and forcefully discard the rest.

My entire life, as long as I can remember, I've been running against the wind. I am genetically incapable of peacefully enduring being in one place... it is simple reality. No matter how much I love a place, no matter how beautiful it is... I ache to be moving... just moving.... not going anywhere... just moving.

I have fought the knowledge contained within for as long as I can remember; Pushed by that desire droned into me to strive for affirmation. Working hard to see that what I knew inside was the best of me... were faults.

Let me step out of that ordained "Line" in pursuit of the things that please ME... and all soh-sigh-uh-tee's insidious weapons are quickly brought to bear. I'm labeled irresponsible. Unrealistic. Selfish... foolish... and all that conditioning that's been tatooed on our souls festers up to fill my mind with self-doubt, and self-recrimination.

I am tormented by Visions. On the one hand I see what I know to be a joy, a contentment, that which is Me... In the other vision I am assaulted by all those accusations of what soh-sigh-uh-tee sees as a useless scoundrel. 

Opposites battling within a hollow brain pan... You just hold to what you see is true and do the best you can.

Brian

The More Things Change... the More They Stay the Same...

Just a couple of days ago... I was sippin' a brew in the evening...

Not that it is unusual... what with global warming and all...

Buuuut... I gotta say, ever' time I go near that shop over there past the truck... the weather turns sour...


Was going to paint the bikes saddle bags today...

... hmmm... guess not...

Think I better go buy some gasoline for the genset...


I don't believe those solar panels on the roof are gonna be generatin' much in the way of computer juice today...

Was just three years ago... and near three weeks later than now in Flaming Gorge... those panels weren't generating much either...

*Memorial Day 2011*

Yeah... global warming was kickin' butt then too :)

Ha... You can't even see the Raider under the snow...


This time 'round she's sittin' on a jack protected in the garage...

I'm confident summer will get here... but then I remember the year, I think it was maybe that same year or the next... up in Montana... summer never really did arrive.

Stayed cold and wet all season. Straight from a stormy spring into fall... I'm hopeful this will not be another of those years when momma nature mocks the arrogance of "scientists" that think they understand the workings of the universe. ;)

Ha! The onliest thing we've ever proven is how little the human race knows or has the ability to learn.

Brian

Spring Keeps Coming... Slowly...

The warm and sunny days got run off by a couple of stormy ones... Yesterday bringing hail and some much needed rain... a good day for laundry and completion of indoor tasks.

The Journal is complete... Ready to deliver to the Charity Auction...

 Built a leather clasp closure with a nice carved pin secured with a braided cord.

Today it's threatening to shine some. I'm hopeful. Wishing to get to work on applying the epoxie resin to that saddle bag lid... so I can get 'em painted and re-installed.

Just need a relatively nice/calm day so I can get that accomplished without a lot of wind planting junk and crud in the freshly applied Resin!

Then there's the riding mower I retrieved a couple weeks ago... its blades have seen better days... They leave a grass Mohawk on every pass. Not exactly a prime job... soooo... with a bit of ambition I'll get them pulled off today and replaced...

... So I can do the mowing that machine will do... and pay my "rent" here on the farm.

Have sort of a noisy neighbor. For bein' such a purty fella... his call sounds sort of like an anemic turkey. Sort of that coarse scratching on slate kind of thing. Him and his harem live in a bit of rough pasture on the other side of the wind break. 

Time to get at it in the shop... so I can get back here to the keyboard and put some more work into a couple of books of fiction in the making... which is kinda urgent... I've gotten waaaaay off schedule with those... :-/

Yes sir... time to do do do...

Brian