Saturday, February 4, 2012

She Hauled Me to the ER... Suffering Symptoms Worse Than Ever...

Aw hell...

I've had some issues for several years, just been livin' around 'em as best I could. The symptoms have been chronic and at times, debilitating. Last night they became so severe she drug me out to the truck and carried me in.

After playin' around for a couple of years now with poking, prodding and simple blood tests yet never arriving at a definitive diagnoses, they finally talked me into springing for the cost of a CAT scan. The one thing they were all agreed on at this point was that the problem had to be neurological.

So... not really knowing how I was gonna pay for it, since I'm not a gay, illegal alien... and have to pay for my own medical care... I lay down on the table and they slid me into that claustrophobia inflaming machine.

The results were not good.

They'd whittled the diagnosis options down to three... all of which are considered terminal if not caught and treated early enough...

Just Freakin' Great...

From what they said the treatment for any of the three possible sources of my difficulty is both expensive and permanent. Once you go on treatment... you're on it for life.

Murphy was sitting in the ER I guess... They didn't find I suffer from one of the possibilities, not me, Nope... I've got ALL THREE!

Each of which requires a separate, individual, and continuous treatment. Great... Just what a poor boy needs...

Yep... I'm not only afflicted with Stage IV Hitch Itch, but that is complicated by an advanced case of Two Wheeler syndrome and and a Malignant Case of Boots on the Ground...

HA! GOTCHA! :)

Sheesh... Now we know why I'm tee total Nuts! When I'm sittin' on that sweet red Yamaha, splittin' the wind with a grin on my face...there's that hunger jabbin' me to be hoofin' it up a trail on that Mountain I'm leanin' the bike through the twisties on... while the third syndrome is squallin' at me to be 4000 miles away, rollin' the rig through the Yukon!

Only one of me and an achin' hunger to go in three opposite directions... talk about split personalities!  :)

Not only do I need an overweight wallet to keep up with my incurable urges... I need three of me to have enough rattle brained cowboy biker to go around!



Geeze... ya see... Hitch Itch is 100% =  to Splittin' the wind on a Motorcycle which is = to Shanks Mare travel through Far Country... and not one of 'em is a curable, erasable, eliminatable affliction.

It's the gospel and pure truth... it's a full time job, just bein' me! :)

... and you thought just pickin' your rig was a tough chore! I gotta pick a rig... that not only can carry my bike... but still provide convenient all weather transport to and from camp and around the mountains carryin' us to trail heads on narrow back roads... while remaining small enough to squeeze into the RV Boondocking camps we prefer without breaking the diesel budget...and still allow me to...

... Scratch all them itches in a manner that spreads me around often enough so none of my afflictions degenerates sufficient to let one of 'em run out of control! 

Don't try this at home folks... unless you've got a fine supply of medication! :)

Bug Eyed Looney Tunes in Arizona Far Country ;)
Brian

11 comments:

Phil and Rudee said...

dang stuff is contageious!:-)

Phil

Carolyn said...

you rascal.... had me going! and yes I've been diagnosed with the same ...

boots on the ground... HAHaaaaa

Gaelyn said...

A sure cure is keep the rubber down and rolling.

Jeff and Lori said...

By the looks of it you also have an advanced case of bullsh*titis. Really had me going.

Jeff

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a vacation is much needed! I already have spring fever and hitch itch...but the calender says i shouldn't yet...but the crazy weather is tell'in me to getty up! P.S. I still have lady bugs in my trailer!!? Have a good day you two. BiLL ;)

Sharlotte said...

Dang it Brian, don't worry a person like that. I was already figuring out how you could get health insurance when I finished the article. LOL Only thing I could think of was VA Hospital. Glad it was all in your "brain??". My hitch itch is going away the end of the month as I wing it back to Seattle for that daughter. Hubby and dog are coming up mid March.

Anonymous said...

Hi Brian;

Sorry to break the news to ya buddy, but ya crossed that line into insanity a long, long, time ago. I'm pretty sure that sanity left with your hair... :)

Did ya get a new tire for the bike yet? if so, what did ya end up with?

Adios!
Mike

Anonymous said...

Looked at the Michellins. They don't build the right size. Wanted to get away from the Metzlers. I've grown to distrust their quality. Many guys riding the Raider are claiming good performance and durability with Avon tires... So... I wait on Fed Ex to bring me a pair.... Last I heard they'd left Iowa... And were in Kansas... I think I got that backwards earlier ;)

Brian said...

Looked at the Michellins. They don't build the right size. Wanted to get away from the Metzlers. I've grown to distrust their quality. Many guys riding the Raider are claiming good performance and durability with Avon tires... So... I wait on Fed Ex to bring me a pair.... Last I heard they'd left Iowa... And were in Kansas... I think I got that backwards earlier ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi Brian;

I've heard good things about the Avon's too. Lot's of guys swear by them at Venutureriders.org. I've used a set of Avon Venom's on our bike and they worked very well. For our bike, the Michelin's Dunlop Tour Ellite's, and Avon's have all worked very well.

I suspect we'd both get better tire mileage if we didn't exercise our right wrists so much while ridin', but what fun would that be?

Adios!
Mike

Brian said...

Ease up on my right hand? Never! :) But even that didn't do what happened to this tire... not sure what did. Gonna see if Metzler will give me anything for the tire... Considering their growing bad reputation... I'm not holding my breath...

Hell... they have the tread on the 210 Tires they sold Yamaha reversed! What the hell? Yamaha has quit putting the Metzlers on and are using Bridgestones the last time I heard anything.

The Avon is a 240... supposed to be the biggest that'll fit the stock wheel/fender.

The Avons sure LOOK good comapred to the Metzlers... must be twice as much tread depth... even if they are a little softer and wear faster... that extra rubber should put me ahead a little... We shall see.