Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Sale of Chewing Gum Should Be Prohibited During Periods of Bad Weather...

These road trippin' wannabes have enough to keep their tiny lil' brain pans busy...

So... the roads are still closed going North... though the Highway cameras I've found show... Pavement! Truth be known... it's not 'cause the roads are that bad... but ... the people on 'em are the sort that could screw up a concrete slab with the proverbial Rubber Hammer.

I still find it curious, that a puss gut, fuzzy eyed, bald headed, broken spined twister, with a bad attitude... can run an empty dually down the road... without slipping a tire... while Other... uh ... Motor VeeHickle Operators? Can't move a front wheel drive car with studded tires across a parking lot... without getting sideways...

I do believe that there should be more "Classes" of drivers licenses... assigned by proper testing to reveal the severity of their many disabilities... due apparently to the total absence of any perception or understanding of the laws of physics.

Class I - Limited to speeds below 20 mph only on Sunny Sunday afternoons on alternating weekends. Vehicle to be Operated ONLY during day light hours. Interstate Highways Specifically prohibited. Any operation of the vehicle must be terminated if a cloud enters a zone within a 12 mile radius of any motor vehicle operated by the licensed driver.

Operation of a vehicle for a period of seven years without a reportable incident would allow an upgrade to;

Class II - Driving permitted if precipitation does not exceed 1/8" and temperatures do not retreat below 50 degrees. Interstate Highways ALSO Specifically prohibited.

Pass the four year probationary period of this license and you would graduate to;

Class III - Permission to be a PASSENGER in a vehicle during inclement weather more severe than permitted under class II regulations.

Class IV - Granted only to those drivers who have provided proof, co-signed by three physicians, of the absence of disability due to Cranial Rectal Inversion; which allows for full and complete peripheral visibility and the inhalation of fresh air when required to maintain consciousness. The holder of this class license are specifically authorized to operate motor vehicles under all road conditions.

Yeah... Today is gonna be 300 miles of slip and slide fun Dodging the Living Proof of the Theory of Reverse Evolution! ;)

Ducking and Running on Western Trails


Anonymous said...

Buckle up and point it N. ;) BiLL

Judy said...

I've always maintained some folks need to drive vehicles painted fluorescent orange, have a yellow twinkly on top and a beeper that turns on with the ignition just so we can see them coming.

Be safe out there!

Myrddin said...

Keep it between the lines and watch out for the crazies.

Safe travels,


Don said...

You'd sure cut down on the need for roads with your plan! Heck, four seat vehicles would be rare as well.