Well... OK, not quite yet... but we will be shortly :o) rolllin' the rig on into the unknown. Unknown to us anyway.
This Leaving... has got me to thinkin' 'bout things... again...
I'm pretty much a collection of walking talking contradictions... Don't want a laid out life... I Like not knowing what's around the next bend... wondering what's comin' up... feeling like I still have choices... but I'm really uncomfortable with surprises... I like people... but too many of 'em at one time and eeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeesssss! I pull my hair out... and uh that dome, if ya'll ain't noticed, is shiny and hairless these days! ;o)
I don't like doing much of anything with the thought that it's For the Money... but what can I say... the things money can yield a guy... well... I'm not giving up my Motorcycle... Uh Uh... THAT... ain't happenin'!
I was asked a week or so ago, where I'd settle if I did again... "Where's your favorite place?"... I couldn't answer... "Yellowstone has always been a... but wait... Glacier country is fine... but... Lake Ponderay is right up their with the Olympic Penninsula... and... it's awful beautiful in the Tonto Basin..." ....
I'm frugal by nature... but... true to my Cowboy Roots...If I've got a dollar bill, I spend it! :o
Aw hell, I could go on for most of the day... I had a point here somehwere...uh...
Oh Yeah... I got to thinkin' 'bout what it is... that makes me hunger for wanderin', that pushes me away from things I value... I've got family in one place... very good friends in another... all of who I miss... painfully... when they're not around...
...so why the urge to roll?
I wonder if I'll ever, really, have that answer... or if I'll always be runnin' from one Itch... to the next? :o) and hopin' to find the salve that soothes 'em all at the same time.
... am I just shallow, fickle, and indecisive? ...Greedy and wanting it all? Eat my cake and have it too?
... or... maybe it's that... that constant itch... somewhere... Is the Thing that keeps all those pieces in perspective...That being away from the things I value highest... keeps them from becoming common and unappreciated... Keeps their Value to me in Sharp Focus... by their absence?
Dang... that almost sounds like that Old line... something about; "Why are you pounding on your foot with a hammer?"... answer: "because it feels so good when I stop!" :o)
... Is a Gypsy like me some sort of a Mobile Masochist? :o) geeze!... I hope not... I like to think I've got a shinier motivation than that!
The unanswerable question? well... it'll have to wait... Cuz... it's time to finish loading the rig, get hitch up and see if I can find Burro Creek!
We're needful of gettin' back on the road... Itchy ya know...
Back out there, followin' my Nose... Huntin' for the Answers to Questions I've not Asked Myself Yet!
Brian
A broken down Ol' Cowboy goin' RV Boondocking ...
...and Yondering, to the beat of a different Biker Cowboy Drummer
4 comments:
Very good introspection...and I particularly like the insight that maybe the urge to wander and leave what one loves may be caused in part by the desire to keep things from getting too familiar and no longer special. I do think that one of the most deadening aspects of conventional, stationary living for many people is that things become too predictable and routine and known, and the mind, heart, and spirit are no longer much stimulated.
Michael
Lost Cowboy Gypsy,
The things that you love and cherish never really loose their shine or value if they are truly that. And the questions are right in front of you, you have asked them to yourself before. All you need to do now is listen to the silence, and the advice of another gypsy.
Keep loving and searching...the answers will come
I love the travel because when I am home and dealing with--whatever it is that is keeping me from traveling. I will notice the way the sun is in the sky, a light rain, a breeze, the beauty around me, I remember that day in "name the place" and it is like a secret and I can smile and enjoy that moment or day again. And I can do it as often as I want. I am the luckiest person in the world to have been to that place and seen what I have seen.
Geeze... it would seem I'm philosophizin' to a whole lot of philosophers! Awesome! :o)
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