Monday, December 6, 2010

Just Had My Redneck Card Revoked!

It's a humiliating thing... hell of a deal to get de-graded from bein' a redneck biker cowboy... to a Flunked out... redneck has-been!

That Ol' Cummins powered Dodge has been in desperate need of an oil change... and to be honest, poverty is a poor excuse for lack of maintenance... it'll come back and haunt you with expenses a lot higher than the maintenance...

But... the tight budget... and the fact that I hate... I hate... I HATE mechanicin'... combined to delay the required work... My Bad! But what can I say... A lot of years ago, I was a bit of a dandy... Tight jeans, fancy boots, and fancier shirts... Gettin' greasy is something that just makes my lip curl... top that off with busted knuckles and dents in your head from crawlin' around under a dirty piece of machinery...

... So... my "way" has been, for a long time to sit in the waiting room of some auto service center or mechanic shop drinkin' their free coffee and readin' magazines... while THEIR boys get greasy, busted and dented! :o)

... and I keep my purty self... Clean and Purty! :o) , yeah,Well... enter.. more austere times...

My brother-n-law and me decide that we'll go to Wal Mart... get the oil, filter etc... and get that Cummins back up to snuff. Not so hard for a couple of Ol' boys... right?

...and we "don't need no stinkin' directions!" ... right? I mean... it's a freakin' Oil change on a pickup... not rewiring the space shuttle!

All went well... right up to firin' that Cummins Diesel back up... hell, we even discovered that the oil leak that has been growin' a bit, was likely just a loose drain plug... which itself could have turned into another "story" :o)

anyhoo... I check the oil level... Huh? Where'd all that oil come from? I mean, it shoulda just been; drain out the oil... fill the new oil  filter... reinstall it... fill the sump... all done... right?

Nope... there's something like a half gallon too much oil in the damn thing!!! Huh? You take 12 quarts out... put 12 quarts in... you should be in the same place... right?

Yep... IF ... the engine held 12 quarts... which it don't... ???? Huh? I would have bet half my liver and both my kidneys, that engine held 12 quarts... and I'da been now looking for a dialysis machine... geeze!

Bud didn't have no idea 'bout it... wasn't his truck... and he runs a Powerstroke anyway! :o)

So... there I am, having to crawl back under and loosen up that drain plug... carefully... 'cause all I need to do is drain a couple quarts of high dollar oil... back out... to get the level where it was supposed to be... only... I took to much back out... DOH!!! and had to pour some back in... aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!

Dang near wore that oil out... pourin' it back and forth! :o) but I did save a bundle, maybe half? of a store bought oil change, which the budget appreciates...

but... what the heck! I've been driving these Cummins for a long dang time... this '99 has held 10 quarts for a ... Long Dang Time... where in the heck did the For sure and for certain, KNOWLEDGE, that it held 12 come from? ... I'm tellin' ya'll ... this Early Old Timers is gettin' fearful in it's devastation of busted up Ol' Geezers!

Aw well... bet I don't get that crossed up again... for a while anyhoo...

Washin' off the grease on the Arizona Desert
Brian

2 comments:

Wil said...

"where in the heck did the For sure and for certain, KNOWLEDGE, that it held 12 come from?"

Simple, Brian. Ten quarts for the sump, one quart and a smidgen for the filter and the rest for topping off until the next oil change. You've been buying 12 quarts right along and didn't misremember after all... ;)

Sharlotte said...

Lordie Brian, only you could make an oil change into a novelette. I have laughed so ,much that my cheeks are chapped. Keep it coming. Love to read about your trials and tribulations.